The Witch Of Babbling (blog thread)

it is with my genetics professor!!! i like genetics!!!! i am not very good but i like it!!!! and i like the professor!!!!! she is great!!!!!!!!!!!! this will help my curriculum!!!!!! and will help me write my research paper we have to write to finish the clinical cycle before getting to internships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE
THEY
CAN
BE
THE
SAME
THING!!!!!!!

 

oooohhhhhhh my god this is one of the things that scores the most points for residency in virtually all programs and i want clinical medicine which is always such a close race because it's a prerequisite for most nonsurgical specialties

WEIGHT. OFF MY SHOULDERS.

 

genetics midterm today, have three papers for tomorrow. i went to sleep at 10 last night, woke up at seven, am feeling like i was hit in the face with a log. bleeeeeeeeeeeah

at least we don't have anything to do this afternoon so i'll take a nap after lunch

 

i have to literally mine, from the earth, cute plus size gothy outfits and curate an aesthetic and if i see. ANOTHER STORE. ON INSTAGRAM. THAT INSTEAD OF HAVING A WEBSITE WHERE I CAN PURCHASE MY PIECES. ASKS ME TO SEND THEM A WHATSAPP MESSAGE. FORCING ME TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE. JUST SO I CAN PURCHASE SOME PAJAMAS. I WILL. LOSE MY SHIT

 

ooh buy local, value small businesses

SHEIN DOESNT MAKE ME SEND THEM A GODDAM WPP JUST TO KNOW IF A SHIRT COMES IN MY SIZE

 

Today i had stuff to do in the clinic and it is pediatric day too and I saw. The most adorable toddler toddle all happy into the hallway holding his mom's hand, and then when he saw the doctor and the nurse waiting he stopped dead on his track and immediately start crying. Swiftest mood shift ever. I love kids

 

Things are... suck.

 

They are not suck completely because it is my husbands b o r t h today but i had to stay an hour and a half at the clinic and it was enough to make me feel dumb and tired

 

i drank 1.5l of bubble tea today and my kidneys don't know what all this liquid entering my body means

#chronicallydehydratedproblems

 

It is 15 degrees right now. I just washed my hair and am going to bed with it still damp because it is too late to use the dryer. *dry cough, raspy throat* what could possibly go wrong?

 

*slowly bends forward at the ankle like a top-heavy plastic figurine*

 

Me: trying very hard to concentrate on this paper about probiotics and prebiotics for gastro
My shit good for nothing brain: banging pots and pans until i go google miso soup recipes because we read about it in the paper

 

i have, like, three hours to hand a summary of the article and i just spent twenty minutes on a cooking blog............

 

THE WEEK BEFORE FINALS MY GRANDMA THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GO AND FUCKING DIE AND THEN MY FATHER WANTS TO CONTACT ME AFTER 30 FUCKING YEARS I AM STUBBING MY TOE CLOSE TO CUTTING MY OWN BANGS AND BLEACHING MY HAIR THIS IS A TOTAL FUCKING MENTAL BREAKDOWN LADS

 

Can things just please stop happening just long enough for me to not bomb all of my classes and waste 48 grand on top of all the horrible things that have already happened

 

Tuesday marked a week since grandma passed. It's been weird, but I'm coping. Mom seems to be doing... okay. okay-ish. She was her legal guardian and is having to do a lot of bureaucracy navigation, which i'm not really equipped to help with, and she has been hiding her emotions pretty well because i've only occasionally caught her crying.

we aren't really good at this human emotions thing.

my husband has been great to me, really talking to me and taking the time to listen and console me. He has lost both of his grandmas and... idk. I wish I had been better for him when it was my turn to offer support. I didn't really know what to do but I hope I could have been as wonderful in such a hard moment as he has been to me, and my mom.

finals, so far, have gone well.

grandma had dementia so I guess I said goodbye to her a bunch of times over the years, and in most of the ways that mattered. I wish I had been able to see her one last time, but I was there for her last birthday party before covid and I told her I loved her until I went blue. I was also her fulltime caretaker for eight years, so I at least have the fact that I did as much as I physically could to repay all the kindness she showed me.

It's hard.

 

my husband also has a cough and stuffed nose and general airway infection symptoms. he had been visiting his aunt because his mom is moving to our city and his aunt is helping, but his aunt is also a big silly that believes in antivax fake news because her church believes Bolsonaro was sent by the powers that be to defeat the evil satanic abortists on the communist left.

he can't have caught the plague. not when his vaccine register had been approved, finally, and he could finally book an appointment to be vaccinated. his bmi puts him at risk and I cant lose him

 

sixth semester is going to be Bad

 

Me: I should lose weight and watch my sugar intake, for my health

*spent a good chunk of my afternoon eating chocolate chips like they're popcorn while watching a lecture*

 

i was a good girl and read 40 pages of hematology textbook this afternoon. where are my chili fries and my medicine trophy for being so good at med school