The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (a thread for Potterheads)

I identify more and more with Poppy each year.

 

Considering that there are literally people whose job it is to assault the other team with homicidal enchanted heavy flying balls the size of an ostrich egg, Quidditch must have a higher injury rate than American football. And American football is a meat grinder.

 

I MEAN!! they have magic!! they could have easily done a barrier thing around each kid so even if they got hit there wouldnt be direct contact, like a more intense version of what hermione did to harry's glasses

actually... why the fuck wasnt that standardized?? like... i feel like a fellow student shouldnt have been the one to be like "so there are ways to make it so you can see in the rain"

 

What's funny is they have a spell for the balls that does that.
But not the players.

 

because children? who cares!
the balls are what's really important here.

 

i guess there have to be rules around what magic is allowed because otherwise someone would just accio snitch and gameover but like, oh my god these are children

also omg i remember didnt ron say once a game went on for 3 months and they had to keep switching out players so people could sleep like what the Hell

i would be super interested in what Big Wizard Sport america has because i refuse to believe that quidditch is the Only Wizard Sport. and it was made kinda to parallel soccer, which isn't as big in the US. the wizard equivelent of american football would be Wild

 

if I remember correctly, Americans played something called Quadpot?? I have no idea if that is actually canon or from a fanfic or the product of a fever dream, though.

edit: I'm not hallucinating!! it's called Quodpot, apparently, and it was in Quidditch Through the Ages. http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Quodpot man, why the fuck do I know that, I didn't even read any paracanonical books.

 

Americans call the sport everyone else calls "Quidditch" "Figgins." American Quidditch involves troll-wrestling. *serious nod*

 

quodpot seems like fun!

definitely

 

quodpot involves explosives, I believe

(meanwhile, muggleborn kids try to recreate anakin's race through the canyon)

 

Now that is intensely American. Does the equivalent of the Superbowl happen on the Fourth of July?

 

She never mentioned that so we get to say that yes. Yes it does.

 

yeah, I think the Quod (which is a ball) explodes if you handle it incorrectly or something. those silly, violent Americans!

 

American wizards: "The British version of Quodpot uses balls that don't explode? FREEDOM-HATING PANSIES."

 

i imagine magical medicine is a booming buisness in america. american wizard school: where you can send your 11 year old off to have their face melted off during PE

i do remember that the quiditch through the ages did specify that like, thankfully brooms come with invisible butt cushions. i remember being very relieved when i learned this

 

also i think jkr neglected to take into account americans' GREAT DISTAIN for anything british.

but speaking of freedom hating pansies:

we know magic doesnt inheretly require a wand or spoken spells, because kids can do magic before they get wands. they can also control it nonverbally, like lily freaking petunia out with the flower. so the wand is more like, idk something that can channel/focus the magic?

so basically, american wizards replacing wands with guns. after the revolutionary war probably. i think america would still have wands, but i can totally imagine a part of america (lets be real, the south and midwest) where enchanted revolvers that shoot spells are the norm. i mean, a lot of them have wooden handles and everything.

 

Though one of the many, many plot holes in Magic in North America was that she was talking about people making transatlantic flights way before when she said it was invented.

 

oh god D:

but i mean they have magic im sure they could do something it make it less ah... uncomfortable? probably not though 'cause wizards are dumb :/

 

This is a brilliant idea and it makes sense. +1 endorsement.

Also it allows for the possibility of a scenario where wizards engaged in a heated battle are interrupted by muggles and cover up by claiming they were playing laser tag, or something.

 

playing humans vs zombies
laser edition