therapy/counseling? What is this?

So this isn't 100% pertinent for the convo right now, but might be useful for you to be aware of in the future:

There is a difference between a therapy and counselling. Counselling is intended to help you develop healthy day-to-day coping mechanisms, and work through difficult and stressful situations (e.g. using CBT, like you mentioned). Therapy is intended as a more in-depth exploration of your emotional difficulties. Therapy is surgery, counselling is a bandage. Which is okay! Often, a bandage is all that's needed.

Why I was thinking about this: your counsellor should be helping you to find ways to deal with your anxiety/dep/exdys that work like a bandage: they don't make you feel worse, they protect you from more harm so you can heal. It sounds like you're allergic to this type of bandage, and your counsellor needs to find a different type. You don't have to keep using the bandage just in case your immune system gets used to it.

This metaphor kind of got away from me.

 

Conceptualising yourself as a dialogue between different inner voices is really very normal, though I think it might be more common in brainweird types. It's not necessarily anything to do with dissociation or personality or anything like that. There's no single word for it, but some terms I've come across (since this is absolutely a Thing I Do) include 'ego-states' and 'internal family systems'. Both those terms come from therapeutic approaches ('ego-state therapy' and 'Internal Family Systems therapy'), each of which have their own way of explaining it; I don't think either one is The One True Answer, but I think they both describe different ways in which some people's minds work. Similar work is sometimes part of Gestalt therapy (like the 'empty chair' exercise), and is quite common in some ED recovery approaches.

But that doesn't mean that it's automatically a good idea to try to use this approach in therapy. A good friend of mine, for example, has very ego-syntonic MH problems, and during her recovery from anorexia, she found it annoying and unhelpful when therapists tried to get her to personify her anorexia and fight with it that way.

If it makes you uncomfortable for other reasons, that's OK too! You don't have to do things that way.

This analogy has made me Annoyed (not with you, with my counsellors) because goddamn, I have sought counselling so many times and been given therapy instead... bleh

 

I echo @EulersBidentity and @Elph so much. Them's good words. imma write those down.

And yes, it's perfectly okay for you to include my post. maybe say it's from your older sister who has a lot of similar brainweirds.

also, you're of course free to give her anything you want, but maybe have a page of "here are some coherent thoughts that I'm having trouble expressing" and a page of "here's what happened to my brain when I did this"?

 

Okay soooooooo

Appointment is tomorrow
I have no idea what to tell her.
I read through these posts (thank you past me for actually asking y'all in advance holy shit)
I think the ones I'm sure about putting in is Kay's post, euler's bandage analogy, not the first post, but maybe some of my ramblings after that, and some I think one of codeless' posts. I would quote things but my computer is kinda fucked atm, and quoting doesn't seem to like mobile.

 

Okay so since I can't quote things I've compiled the posts I am thinking of using.

Post number-------from x to y in post(what writing goes in)-------who wrote it
Post 6------All of the post------Imo
Post 9------All of the post------ @littlemissCodeless
Post 11------All of the post------Cody*
Post 19------All of the post------ @Kaylotta
Post 21------'Why I was thinking' to 'got away from me'------ @EulersBidentity
Post 23------'from older sister' to 'similar brainweirds'------Kay

*maybe. This might be too accusatory to give to her *shrug*

(People are @ because I feel the need to ask if I can use your posts)
(Also advice abo my picks, do they work? Anything left out that seems importantly?)

 

I think those are good choices. It's fine to use my posts.

If you're concerned about Cody's #11, you could leave off the last sentence. That is the only part that I could even slightly find accusatory.

Also, about my #23 - you could just use that as a title/comment on my #19...

I reread/scanned the thread and I don't think you left anything important out.

 

Okay.

Yeah will probably shove the small bit of 23 before 19, good idea.

Now... Do I write these down on paper?

 

Feel free to use mine if you want.

 

Do you have a way of printing them? That would be much faster...

 

No l:

I guess I'll write them out when I'm done in the shower.
Sigh.
Is posting order okay for writing order?

 

I would think so, yes.

What about screenshotting them on your iPad?

 

@Imoyram
Hey, just wanted to say, I do the voice thing too! I have conversations with different aspects of myself inside my head, semi-involuntarily (as in not consciously prompted), when I'm either torn between something or indecisive in other ways. Exactly like you said it was, too. So I don't think that's a problem, it's just a thing some people do to sort through options.

Glad Kay could help you figure out why visualizing your anxiety was bugging you so much, though. I've seen lots of things online I like where people visualize mental stuff like that as, like, tiny magical creatures. Not sapient, just doing their thing, but their thing can be detrimental to you. Another way to look at it would be it's like a very scared part of yourself that freaks out at everything and needs comforting. Like a scared cat?

 

Yeah, you're v welcome to use mine. Hope your appointment is useful.

 

So I did the thing!

It went okay. We didn't talk much about it after I kinda sorta started crying, but it went fine with her.
We are gonna try something else, just being aware of thoughts and making sure to repeat in my head that the thoughts are lies.
Also deep breathing stuff