I can't stop chewing the inside of my lip and mouth and ripping bits of skin from it. Also I slept for nearly 24 hours but don't feel rested at all. My eyes are strained from looking at a colour test that turned out to be bullshit, and I want to draw but lack the energy to get my graphic's tablet that is within arms reach.
If one more Steven Universe fan invalidates canon girl/girl romances with "not everything has to be romantic" and "THEY DON'T HAVE A GENDER SO THEY AREN'T LESBIANS IT'S TECHNICALLY AGENDER/AGENDER ROMANCE" (when they are clearly female presenting and meant to be read as female and use she/her pronouns and have no apparent issues with being called women by other characters in the show they are agender by technicality) I am going to go flip my laptop out the god damned window
So I finally get to see the dentist again today (why this is an annoyance in a moment) Spoiler: warnings for teeth stuff and my mother What annoys me is that it took my mom being guilted by my Aunt the nurse after I complained on face book about teeth pain to be allowed to go -- and NOW she's talking like there was never any problem and money is no problem at all and gave them full clearance to fix what needs to be fixed over the next years. Which I guess is good because the cleaning and filling I went in for today turned into cleaning and part 1 of a root canal. This is both good and annoying/upsetting because now I'm numb and out of it and will not be able to go watch Discworld movies with my friends (we were going to watch UHF but we changed it in honor of Sir Terry. Like the densist is awesome and I get the gas stuff and lots of numbing and he puts medication stuff inside the area to help with pain until the next visit - and I'm glad it got started because apparently there was a lot of infection but my first social plans in weeks I had spoons for was messed up and mom's gone from talking about how we just don't have the money to not caring how much it costs.
My ears are still ringing from all the fun I had tonight, which is sort of: YAY, fun! And also, ugh, ear ringing.
My job keeps on asking me to work more hours. I keep telling them I'd rather not. But they know I'm a sucker, so if they can't find some one else to fill they position, they'll get me to do it.
My hands aren't working right. I can't play a game I got because it requires me to have to be able to use one hand on the keyboard, and one hand on the mouse. My hands do not like to work separately. I also am cursing my lack of fine motor control. Which is weird, considering I can draw, but I just.... have trouble moving my hands and fingers a lot. It's really annoying and I am mad.
I command all trees and plants to stop having sex RIGHT NOW. Every mucous membrane above my neck itches.
Got into an argument about the dumb notion that the word 'transgendered' is BAD and TRANSPHOBIC because it implies PAST TENSE. Which it fucking doesn't, because the '-ed' ending isn't just a past tense marker. It's also used to mean "possesses an attribute", like 'bigoted', 'two-legged', 'feathered'. Gender is an attribute which a person (or other living thing) can have, so the '-ed' ending is perfectly fucking correct, dammit. Just because some idiots who don't understand the English language and have an over-tuned sense of offense mistakenly think it's offensive for stupid-ass reasons doesn't make it so. And then they fucking misgendered me and called it 'cisplaining'. Goddamn.
How the majority of protagonists have flaws that hurt only themselves. Like too insecure or too reckless or too shy or too trusting. Damnit, I want to read about people doing actually bad things and hurting the people around them and still being heroes! I can't relate to somebody whose only personal problem is that they don't believe in themself enough! Especially fantrolls. Newsflash: trolls are a race of jerks. Yet when people rp them, they are always sure not to step on each other's toes. I have given up watching people rp fantrolls for good because they're all so fucking NICE. I even saw a rule on a homestuck rp forum along the lines of "no bullying, even if it's in character." Eyeroll.
Got a friend going through serious medical shit. They messaged me, complaining about life (which is totally fine, their life is pretty shit right now). Unfortunately my reply was apparently not the one they wanted, 'cause their reply to me came off like they couldn't believe what I'd just said. For fuck's sake, I can't read your mind, and I'm not always going to have the perfect thing to say. Argh.
People talk about story worlds with black and white morality as places to escape to. I can never use those worlds to escape because I know which side I would end up on. Grey morality where the good guys do awful things and the bad guys do great things is really important to me.
i'm not all caught up on steven universe yet, but damn that shit is annoying it's basically No Homo, the type of stuff that my Mom said about my first slash ships, just in more sjw-friendly words
I really, really hate the tumblr side of my fandoms sometimes. Just let people enjoy their queer ships between two feminine characters without going "BUT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE KIND OF LOVE IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ROMANTIC11!" and "BUT THEY ARE AGENDER" because apparently homosexual relationships on mainstream TV isn't progressive or inclusive enough anymore. I hope I'm not spoiling too much with these rants Dx everyone should watch Steven Universe! Season 1 just ended and it's a really great show with a diverse cast, a good mix of light heartedness and heavy drama, kick ass women, a really cool scifi/fantast mythos, lots of anime influence and shout outs, an AMAZING soundtrack, the animation is pretty, and now a bunch of (at least what I consider is) canon lesbians. Just... tread carefully with the tumblr side of the fandom.
Spoiler Annoyed at myself for weird moodswings. It's always this big dumb production where I do a thing and I feel good about it and then it occurs to me that it might be weird/bad in ways that I'm not equipped to recognize, and then I get to feeling all quivery and panicky over nothing at all. Fuck, I'm just such a fucking idiot. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not entirely certain what the practical difference is between a a pairing between two female-presenting but not technically gendered persons and two just plain old ladies. I know some people are all for representation for an underserved minority, and agender people don't often show up in fiction, but how is calling it a girl/girl pairing invalidating their identities if they're both perfectly fine with female titles/pronouns/whatever? It's like when tumblr folks get all up in a tizzy at people for using gendered pronouns on Xavin, despite the character never having any preference whatsoever for any pronouns. It's like they can't separate their idea of how a character of one supposed identity should be acting and the actual actions of the character in canon.
no you're not spoiling too much i think i've seen most of season 1 and tumblr side? isn't fandom pretty much all or mostly on tumblr right now? like there are other sites but... i get the impression most of the action is on tumblr
There is also /r/stevenuniverse on reddit, which is blowing up more and more as the series progresses but as far as I know is still pretty chill.
Oh man, now I'm remembering obnoxious Runaways fan things that always seem to devolve into screaming and pouting, because a character with no cannon confirmed pronoun preference or gender identity can't possibly be anything but what the user in question thinks, seriously. Nope, the people who call Xavin/Karolina a girl/girl pairing? Wrong. Totally wrong, and also scum for even suggesting as such. The folks who call her a transwoman, and an inspiration as such? Awful. nobody should ever interpret a character in a way that makes them feel good. Urgh. It's not like I don't see the point of their annoyance. I get upset over fan portrayals that go against cannon, too. I'm not arrogant enough to assume that every interpretation I make is Obviously True And Correct, though. And it gets so fucking mean, too.
