Why can't I sleep at normal times like a normal person? Why did I sit up until 3 a.m. for NO REASON AT ALL last night? Why am I on track to do the exact same goddamn thing tonight?
I am trying to work on chem and it's so god damn frustrating like I know the concepts and the math behind it is algebra that I am used to but put 2 and 2 together and I can't retain any of this for shit I literally just reviewed this garbage tonight a couple hours ago and trying to do the exact same work and I can't fucking summon the information out of my brain it's like every time I look at the question it's like seeing it for the first time all over again I swear to god the only reason why I'm even going to attend the test tomorrow is that even a 7% or something is better than a zero.
My internet connection is screwed up. Kintsugi is one of the few places I can still go. I actually managed to call my ISP today though. (Yay! I did a thing.) They said 24 to 48 hours to repair. *twitches*
There's this one fvcking dvde who really takes v^^brige with the idea that anyone covld ever ship a silly little aestetics based pairing like ^^vffet/^^ettaton. Fer fvcks sake, the existance of an obscvre pairing between two pretty pvrple/pink characters is neither svprising nor a threat to the cannon fvcking girl/girl pairing, holy crap. And Soriel have interacted in cannon, so I don't even know what this dvde's fvckin ]ab towards the^^ is abovt. And I^^portance, godda^^n, what kind of idiot even rates ships on a scale of "i^^portance". It's a ship, it's not seriovs, it's silly arts and fvn. I fvcking hate the idea that enoy^^ent of stvff has gotta be political, that the things an individval does for shits and giggles have so^^e sorta vniversal i^^pact, so peeps have a dvty to do good with their bvllshit, and it's ]vst. Hey, wow, let's not ^^ake fvn things a fvckin obligation to other peeps and their ideals! This attitvde annoys ^^e so ^^vh becavse I think it lets people off the hook for a lot of things. "Petty bvllshit is actvally svper i^^portant, so I'^^ seriovsly saving the world by defending ^^y ship on the internet!!!" No. No, it's all so fvcking s^^all, bvt this kinda thinking lets people feel like they're doing ^^ore than they are, and it's so fvcking obnoxiovs. I'^^ being incoherent, sorry.
ALSO! What the hell is with this fando^^ and ignoring that bi/pansexvality exists? I swear to fvck, every other page it's like "ohhhh~ it's intensly /proble^^atic/ to say that Alphys isn't only into chicks and chick-leaning nonbinaries, the affection she expressed for Asgore is oooobbbbviovsly co^^pvlsory, it's svper ho^^ophobic to believe otherwise!" And now this ]ackass is bringing ^^ettaton into this? A dvde don't gotta be straight to get with a chick, godda^^it.
Sudden craving for lobster. Also, trying to figure out how to take a series of screenshots very fast on a Windows computer. :|
why the fuck did I click the comments section on an article about sudden infant death syndrome? painting your nursery causes SIDS! (because there are chemicals in paint) Baby food and formula causes SIDS! (because processed food = satan) Their little bodies can't sweat out toxins! (even though they should have a liver and kidneys, these people just don't understand physiology) and of course the top rated comments are.... Vaccines cause SIDS!
/angry spaghetti rant If you say you are going to make spaghetti, fucking do it or for godsake at least tell me you're not going to anymore. You asked if I wanted it and I said yes because there's essentially nothing else to eat in the house and ive been waiting for the past 4 hours because I thought the meat was thawing. Fuck, /I/ would have made it if you'd just put the damn meat out to thaw and you asked, I've been doing most of the cooking nowadays anyway.
"Whether or not [condition] or not" I know it happens because humans are fallible and occasionally forget the beginning of their statement by the time they get to the end, but it still bugs me.
There is a guy a few desks over from me that is constantly making some form of noise. Including but not limited to: Reading bits of emails out to himself under his breath Half replying to stuff he's reading out loud under his breath Laughing at stuff he's reading Sighing Hmmmm-ing Ummmm-ing Making little noises of comprehension Coughing Humming Groaning while stretching None of those things are especially irksome if they happen every now and then, but this is constant and it is driving me absolutely loopy. Our bit of the office is very quiet, so it's very obvious. But the guy himself is really nice and friendly, which sort of makes it worse because I feel bad for being so annoyed. ... I need a cup of tea.
When I first leave my room in the morning, I head down to piss, put away the dishwasher's contents and put dirty dishes in it, then grab something to eat. I usually wear headphones when I'm doing this, 'cause I don't really want to talk. So why why why did one of my roommates come down right after me, and bring things to use in the sink, and follow me into the pantry presumably to grab a snack but then watch me put away tupperware and reach in beside me to grab something that didn't belong on that shelf, and just generally chatter at me with suggestions for things that need cleaning?????????????????????????????? Do I need to outright show her that I'm annoyed and tell her that I'm not in the mood to talk until I've eaten something? But but but so many years of making the habit of not showing anger, because emotions just cycle and escalate and make things worse, pretending I'm calm is the only reliable way to get what I want... bluh bluh bluh emotional honesty is hard, and especially when I'm trying to make sure I don't harm others or myself.
The temples of my glasses are hurting the backs of my ears like crazy today :( dunno anything I can do to relieve it outside of taking them off, which would render me blind as a bat. Also, unrelated, I have a zit right where one of my nose pads rests, thus rendering THAT incredibly painful if I wear them normally. This, at least, I can relieve at the cost of making me look incredibly dumb (cutting up a little piece of paper towel to put between the nose pads and my nose.) BLUH.
My jersey number was taken before I could lay a claim on it, and now I have to be a different number for the first time in as long as I can remember.
need to clean smoke/dirt/metal shavings off self, don't want to shower. i get up to early, hair will still be wet, and I'll be frozen. gross. need to make an effort. don't wanna. bluh. adulting is hard.
also, just learned about mandatory overtime. i never signed on for 12 hour shifts. 10 is already pushing it. will have to wake at 4am and get home by 7pm. bad drive. didn't think about a lot of things when i signed on for this. think i can handle it tho. will try.