Things that are currently annoying you

@Loq
*HUGS*

 

@Loq *hugs* I hope you got the tick out ok.

 

I've heard alcohol works well.

 

what the fuck did I pick up my phone for

what was I about to do

 

Working at a seriously large company, in a specialty department, and still having to do the 'lets have all the n00bs in the general pool department enjoy TEAMBUILDING' projects.
(see, Im older, but I am by far the youngest person on my team - I keep hearing rumours about places you can work without having to do this bullcrap. Sigh)

 

The task at work of splitting packages into their respective conveyor belts/rollers, over on the "home" side (the side with fewer packages) is known to be the most boring and tedious. It is also disproportionately stressful for me. There's usually a package coming within 10 seconds, so I can barely step away to assist with anything. And when there's multiple incoming sources, or there's no room to push things into...? Amxiety spike like whoa. The process breaking down and it's all my fault because I'm incapable of handling these things and why are people pushing even more on me WHY, are they hazing me, is this on purpose???

So, it's punny: splitting gets me splitting a bit.

Eta: Give me something consistent and tedious and I can trudge cheerfully for hours. Give me something far away so I know I can't help anyone else, and anxiety doesn't latch on to the idea I should, because it's clearly not my fault (or anyone else in the facility) that I can't. But this just out of reach bullshit...

 

@swirlingflight i don't think it's your fault. that really does sound like something hard, stressful and not under your control. and if people are hazing you, that's an asshole move on their part.

but at least you've got a pun out of it. :P

 

The pun really does help. I'll be glad when the usual manager comes back. He's more of an engineer, more of an observe the problem and try a solution type. The guy above him, currently in charge, is a little too desk-jobby, a little too focused on corporate's busywork measurements of oir progress and a little too detached from the how things work (and don't work) for me to feel confident in him. Sigh.

The biggest problem is, too many incoming stimuli, but I feel obligated to keep things moving, but I can't listen-and-think-and-talk at the same as moving things? Oh boy, it's time for Swirl's favorite time: struggling to words! Stammering, waving my hands in an attempt to pull the words to my mouth, sounding a mix between angry and about to cry. Bluh.

 

is the socializing actually obligatory, though? like, do you think people would be upset with you if you didn't or that not doing would make them assess what you're doing negatively or that socializing conveys important info?

'cause if not-socializing won't get you in trouble or negatively affect your performance, i suggest that you don't partake in socializing while you're moving things.

 

In this case, yeah. It's less socializing, more finding the words to say "wait, stop!" in a work-appropriate manner.

I think I've been over-explaining. Instead of just saying "wait, stop," doing my thing, then shooting them a bright+grateful grin with "okay, I can go now, send it on up!" I've been trying to explain why I'm getting distressed so they'll stop doing the thing. I'm aware of thinking wait stop, but then also thinking "they're busy and don't want to wait on me, who do I think I am?"

...And this is looking like another thing for therapist chatting.

Eta But to the question, yes, I do. Some people seem content to work in quiet, but others push for conversation, uncomfortable when there is none. And they try more to help people who talk with them than those who don't, because they feel more fond of them. When I get upset that I'm being incapable and inconvenient, I want to make words to make up for it, like talking is special credit.

 

:D yeah, that's a good idea.

and when it comes to special credit, i reckon it's a thing you should only go for when you feel like you have the spoons for it. having the spoons for it means that you'll be less stressed while you're talking and come off happier, and that you'll be able to give them much more interesting conversation. like, it's about quality, not quantity, and it's not necessary to socialize anyway.

and now i'm wondering if it's possible to try working near the people that like working in quiet more than the ones that push for conversation, customize your positioning a bit, since that seems like it could be helpful.

 

I've seen this "spoons" thing mentioned a couple of times. What is?

 

link

 

Silly name for an incremental measurement of the remaining ability to do the thing.

 

Cool. For me listening to people talk takes spoons. If I have to pay attention or am trying to pay attention to something else, more spoons. If two people are talking, yet more spoons. If three or four people are talking and I have to pay attention to at least one of them, it takes more spoons than I have. It will quickly wear me down to the point that I have to leave and find a quiet place to recharge.

 

I suppose to make the analogy more accurate, I would have a box of spoons for the day, and I can take spoons out at up to a certain rate. The people talking that I described uses spoons faster than I can take them out of the box. The box would then be replenished by a certain amount every night dependent on how well I sleep.

 

yep. and probably also depending on how well/much you eat, drink, exercise and/or how much you do relaxing things too, i think.

 

People on my dash keep making snarky commentary about reforms in the military allowed for trangender people to openky serve, or the Navy encouraging servicemen/women who were discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell to re-appeal, talking about 'even MORE people to die in the military!!! LGBT pride #edgy' and it's like

We were always there?? It's not like gay people magically sprouted from the ground post-Vietnam, swanning about in anti-war rallies, always perfectly on The Right Side Of The Issue. I get it that it's cool to hate anyone who enlists and all, but pretending that all the current LGBT military members like... don't exist unless they're Specifically Chelsea Manning is both really fucking infuriating and a pretty gross misunderstanding of how frequently enlisting can help minorities in horrible financial positions.

(And I know the benefits aren't the only reason people sign up, because my dad was someone who enlisted because his whole family had stretching back to before the Civil War but my stepdad? Did it to try and help his family out of crushing poverty. My mom? Did it to try and help her family out of crushing poverty while escaping an abusive rapist of an ex-husband, and fucking destroyed her body doing it. You don't get to erase them because it fits the narrative of Only Straight Cis White Men Who Hate Muslims Are In The Military.)

 

(Ironically, I had an uncle on my step-mom's side come into a lot of money because of a lawsuit over Agent Orange a while back. Weirdest windfall ever, I guess.)