things that are currently making you anxious

6 different forms for student aid. 1 requires a doctor's note and the diagnosing doctor practices in a school i no longer attend and they don't see people who aren't attending the campus. Another involved writing a letter to explain my grades during my worst mental health year.

I can't let my anxiety interfere with this much money but holy crud I'm shutting down just thinking about it. (Tbh I shut down thinking about that year, period.)

 

Good luck! You've got this!

 

the crushing inevitability that is the passage of time when weighed against the billion things I need to do and the barrier imposed by executive dysfunction and other brain stuff going on

edit: but I am getting a start on them now! good job me

 

Theres a cat 4 hurricane about to make landfall in texas and i am very nervous

 

I am tired enough that I at first understood "cat hurricane" to be a lot of cats.

I hope you are safe from both weather and felines.

 

yeah the good news is, Houston is just going to catch the edge of it. The bad news is, its remnants are projected to bounce over to us and spend a couple days dumping shit tons of rain everywhere.

 

Hurricane irma and the possibility we may have another hurricane develop into a cat 4 and slam us again. Also the chemical plant fires and tornadoes going on

 

Spoiler: Spoiler for drug/addiction talk

I was prescribed a benzodiazepine for when I get acute anxiety and it helps very much! This is great. Better living through chemistry etc. But also when I first got it I was in the middle of an Anxiety Hell Breakdown and so took it .. most of the days? Cuz it was like. Just very nice to not be in physical pain from anxiety. Then my uncle got real serious with me about it (ETA: this was, like, three weeks later?) and I was upset but also got much more cautious about taking it, which I still am. Especially since I don't even get panic attacks pretty much ever, I just get constant background anxiety for hours.

But when i DO (rarely) take it, it still feels very nice to not be anxious, and the muscle effects feel pleasant, and being able to sleep easier is great, and for these reasons basically I'm CONSTANTLY terrified I'm going to become addicted to it. Even though there's no way I could achieve that with, like, ten pills and no current prescription. But oh my god it stresses me right out, ESPECIALLY when i'm IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KIND OF ANXIETY I TAKE IT FOR

 

Just your general garden variety medication side effect tonight. I am abuzz with worry and anxious energy and its so shitty feeling

 

I pinched a nerve? I think? And now my pinky and fourth toe on my left foot are half numb and I can't move them up and they've been like that for over 24 hours and it's stressing me out so much I cried at work 3 times. I also cried 3 times because work is stressful and I had to talk about a bunch of stuff that's stressing me out and people were concerned for me and people expressing genuine concern makes me bawl
Aaaaaa
(Can someone reassure me that my toes aren't going to be paralyzed forever or something??)

 

They probably won't be, but I'd consult a medical professional if you can. They'd be more reassuring and could help if something more is going on.

 

I will, but it might not be till Monday that o can get to one... Would this be a like... Cvs minute clinic, urgent care, or actual doctors office matter? I'm in a new town so I don't have a gp yet

 

My initial thought would be urgent care, mostly because it can be difficult to get an appointment quickly. I think it's a little bit above and beyond a CVS/other pharmacy or grocery store small clinic, but then again I've never been to one? But my impression is that those are for pretty minor things or injuries or vaccinations.

Sorry I'm probably not being helpful. :( I really do think that most likely it's nothing to worry about.

 

No that's fine! Urgent care type was what I was thinking

 

Sometimes you can call your dr's office to speak to a nurse and they can tell you if it's an "ohshit get your butt in here" thing or an "oh, yeah, don't worry unless it's still doing that next week" thing.

 

bell wants to establish mandatory website blocking and i am terrified

 

I think I've been dissociating for a good part of the day (including my entire dnd session) and I have no idea why. Also not sure if Legit Dissociation or if it's just a weird headache.

 

I got an email from my college's res life, informing me that I have a hearing next Tuesday about an "alcohol violation" I committed in October.

There is no alcohol in my dorm room. I haven't had any alcohol since early September. I wasn't even on campus the day this alcohol violation was supposed to have happened?? What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.

 

i'm scared that net neutrality will get destroyed

 

someone i'd been exchanging emails with fairly regularly for a week or so hasn't responded in over 24 hours.

(the obvious reason is that i said or did something that offended or shocked them so much that they never want to see me again and they're just trying to figure out how to let me know politely. obviously! that or they're dead. in no way can this be attributed to them having an upcoming trip and holidays keeping them busy. that would just be silly.)