Today I Fucked Up (Or, The Idiot Moments Thread)

I forgot a 12pack of toilet paper on the fucking traiiiiiiiiiin

 

I'm pretty sure I accidentally took a double dose of my long-acting adhd meds. Because according to the app I use, I should have 4 pills left after the dose I took and I've got...2. So either I forgot to mark a dose on a previous day, or I lost two of the pills somehow (I need to clean my desk but I try and avoid just setting my meds down without taking them to avoid this exact problem), or I took the dose and then forgot I took my meds properly and didn't mark it in the app and then took the dose again when I went 'oh shit, I haven't taken my meds'.

Spoiler: details if anyone is curious

Each pill is 20mg of slow-release Ritalin. So I may or may not have....80mg of slow-release in my system right now. Which is...about 10mg above the maximum safe dose, and 30mg more than I usually take.

I'm going to skip my evening dose entirely, just to be safe, and am going to keep a close eye on myself to watch for symptoms that mean I gotta go to the hospital.

(In other med-fuckery: I need to get a new prescription for my allergy meds, and refill my birth control. And get a refill on my adhd meds anyways, since I was running low before this, and figure out how to get a new prescription since the doctor who's been prescribing it for me may or may not be retiring. I should have done all of this before the new year started, I'm not even sure if the walk-in clinic is open yet or what the hours are. Who decided I'm allowed to be an adult and why?)

 

I was a shithead recently.

My dumb ass walks into an interview at this old place I worked at last summer after being online looking for jobs for a bit. I applied for my old job, but they brought me in for this new position that opened up in sales that would teach me a shit ton about digital marketing, give me actual on-job experience, help me produce samples of my work to put on my resume, AND actually pay me (where an internship for this would likely be unpaid).

Anyway, so I fill out this application quickly cause I know I've already done that online and this is likely just a formality with a couple extra questions.

It isn't until later when I'm in the car explaining this to my friends that I realize I made a grave mistake: I accidentally asked for a raise.

I put down that I wanted to be paid $14/hour when I had been working for $11/hour. I remembered $14 cause I saw it online once and unthinkingly put it down.

And now today they called me saying the position filled up OTL

They're offering me back my old job but now I'm wallowing in regret instead of being happy to be back to it, which I would have been if they didn't tease me like this.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccck

 

Instead of duplicating my job file and making a new job, I just overwrote it! Which is bad because that particular job was complicated for me to figure out how to get working (I'm still really new to bash for loops) and I can't remember which stackoverflow answer in my history was the one that helped me get it working!!! Dumb asshole!

 

today i went to the wrong lecture theater and ended up being late for class

 

This morning I was eating a fudgicle and I set it down on the side of the tub while I went about my morning routine, fully intending to return to it in like a minute...and then proceeded to completely forget about it.

Cue me walking into the bathroom a few hours later to see a puddle of melted chocolate dripping down into the tub. I was able to clean it up, but man I felt dumb!

 

i went to the wrong lecture theater again

 

I walked two miles, and then I walked two miles. That last mile was dragging my junky version- folding old lady cart filled with groceries. The first two miles did not involve Molly the Trolly.

 

This was Quite a while ago but. I was fixing to propose and ordered a ring online. I hid it in the socks/underwear drawer. @idiomie and I lived together in the dorm at the time. Me, being a lazy and forgetful asshole, asked xem to get me a pair of socks as we were just about to go for lunch. It was not until xir face was already sticking in the drawer that I realized I fucked up, because I was trying to keep this A Secret until everything was set for the proposal. I was saved only by the fact that xe apparently had the same amount of visual perception as I did forethought that day because xe somehow did not see the shiny iridescent red box in the corner with gold ribbon.

 

meant to go to the pharmacy. Drove around for like 3 hours aimlessly instead, got home almost 2 hours after the pharmacy closed and remembered i was supposed to go

 

Ordered takeout and got, for sides, a salad and yam fries. Both of these came with (respectively) dressing and dip, in identical containers. The yam fries are supposed to have a chipolte dip, but either it's not anywhere near as spicy as I expected or the restaurant sent a dill dip instead.

Tl;dr: I tasted only the dip, went "oh, that's the salad dressing!", and proceeded to dump it on top of the salad, and did not realize my mistake until after I'd finished eating the salad and opened up the 'dip' for the yam fries only to go "oh....oh, this is salad dressing."

 

A post on tumblr reminded me of the time I licked a frozen metal post to see what would happen, because I wasn't sure if I believed the stereotype of tongues getting frozen to metal.

You can imagine how that turned out.

ETA: Incidentally, from what I can remember, licking with the top of my tongue, as though licking a melting ice cream cone, caused no problems. It was the tip of the tongue that got stuck.

 

I fucked up just now. I was working on a thing about quick ways of counting large numbers (like how many possible ways to do x kind of thing). I was like sweet I know this! And I did it executed perfectly, the question was about how many initial combinations can you make with a standard english alphabet. I did the process from the top of my head knowing exactly what I needed to do and felt super great about it. Until I saw the answer in the book and it was way different. Because I fucking thought. That there were 24 letters in the alphabet, not 26. F U C K

 

Yesterday, but:

Spoiler: NSFW talk

If you've ever seen me on here and thought to yourself "Wow, deresto kinda tends to babble without thinking and has poor boundaries" then you'd be absolutely right because I used the word cumstain in (relevant) casual conversation with my mother yesterday and I'm only realising how inappropriate that probably was. I'm kinda mortified by myself

 

I am reminded that a couple of weeks ago, I was using filtered water from the tap too fill empty sixteen ounce bottles. Now the bottle I was using to transfer the water was about a gallon. And I somehow managed to consistently confuse the caps on the sixteen ounce bottles with the gallon sized cap...multiple times, on several occasions ending in the sixteen ounce cap eventually at the bottom of the gallon sized jug. >_>; No, I have no idea how I managed to confuse one for the other.

 

I often try to put the obviously wrong cap on medication bottles and give up when it doesn’t work, resulting in even more assorted sizes of caps near uncapped bottles. The resulting spills could not be accurately described as surprising, and yet.

 

I spilled tea in my backpack. Twice, in as many days. Without noticing the first time.

I normally buy bubble tea from a place that heat-seals plastic over the cup. So if you put it in a pocket of a bag, and keep it mostly upright, it won't leak. And when I bought a tea from a new to me bubble tea place, that puts lids on their cups-- I somehow didn't think through that it would be less water tight, so if I put the tea in a pocket in my backpack and it didn't stay perfectly upright, it would spill tea in my bag.

...and I still only noticed I did it after I did it twice. (I was so confused by the wet patch on the back of my pants the first day, but it was really hot so I assumed I had just become made of sweat? And the tea had less volume than I remembered, that must have just been from the ice melting, surely?)

 

Sometimes my chronic insomnia and anxiety gets so bad they put me on zopiclone which works extremely well and makes me feel hella stoned for the first day of use but also a lil stupid

Last night I fucked up by eating crisps in bed, falling asleep with my hand still in the bag, and then waking later briefly and turning over only to tip the rest of the crisps all over my room

 

Once I fell asleep eating a chocolate bar and woke up with chocolate eeeeeeverywhere. And I fell asleep again, in the chocolate. Turns out sleeping on chocolate is a reasonably effective way to get it out of sheets?

 

1) I forgot to put the "parking break" on when I stopped for a delivery and my bike rolled into a car, denting it.

2) I got confused about days and missed the sign up for a course my labour union has which will happen again next year.