i have a lot more i just realized -steals meat to cook from the crime scenes he cleans up -objectifies dead people -pretentious -lost his virginity at 14 and feels great about it -specifically developed a expressionless climax face so he could hook up with fuckbois and ruin their self esteem -real angery -prints businesscards with his profile and adress to give people he finds hot -locked someone inside his shed becasue he didnt think they were human -does Drug -brags about being over 10 inches when in reality thats..... very very very false -asks if his kids food is organic but would eat a raw corpse of the ground if he was hungry -believes having children is selfish -has a children -has steel implants and winter spikes on his boot both not to slip on ice but also specifically to kick people -picks fights
callout post for kai elden, my dnd character: it's been two sessions and she's already broke into a house girlish, but not girl wants to fight everyone cannot social skills uncomfortably good at killing stuff honestly, I don't know how she's so good at breaking into boobytrapped houses, I just wanted her to stab things drinks her tea black, even when fancier options are available will take preeeetty much any job offered, regardless of sketchiness let's our cleric do all of the social skills and/or planning
Yonatan "Yonni" Hammoud aroace, so basically a oppressive cishet! VIOLENT military job thinks anyone who doesn't cuddle their friends is weird makes shitty jokes when in bad situations sneak partner in work and closet friend is a lesbian, he's stealing emotional labor from wlw! joined the military to avoid his parents and their pressure about becoming a successful family man instead of confronting them sn*kes w*ed sometimes has killed people knows all the word's to Informer by Snow, raps them and no ones sure how ironic he's being at this point inspired by solid snake to the point of being a rip off
Wattson Tabris: - ate human meat once just to see what it would do - is gay for a technically-corpse - has fucked the technical-corpse - is incredibly irreverent to corpses in general - he's a necromancer so he fucks with dead things a lot - raises plants just to kill them later - transphobic bc he lowkey hates himself - dropped out of college to illegally fuck with corpses more - disentigrated his boyfriends body and got his soul stuck in a necklace - never pays his rent - sells weed with weird shit in it with no remorse
Ondine massive fuckin yandere has cursed people to death before just really creepy in general Kassiopeia sucks at being an angel bit of a major asshole fucks up constantly and refuses to apologize ever thousands of years old but has a Thing for a ghost who died in her mid-twenties and is thus Clearly A Pedophile (TM) Molly Josephine O'Sullivan haha just kidding can u imagine
Separate post 'cause these characters are from a different thing. Hellen Jameson name has "hell" in it, thus appropriating demonic culture white cis girl gay but doesn't make a big deal of it youtube name is a bad pun Dana Liu is a telemarketer (not entirely by choice but still Problematique) drinks too much coffee is mean when she hasn't had enough coffee and therefore Abusive is a gemini and zodiac memes have told me that geminis are Bad Mandy Macbeth (again) still dating a trans guy while being cis acted in a really shitty film still kind of a little shit still a shakespeare apologist
Ariadne "Arie" Kluss: Was mean to her brother, which is clearly Abuse Persistently misgenders someone whose correct pronouns she has yet to be told Made someone's panic attack All About Her by having a panic attack over it White cis girl, 'nuff said
Can I just call out Marcus here because - - wow rude showed up in my head last night with no invitation and now refuses to let me think of anything else - cismale - turns pale in winter so obviously an anti-POC apologist - didn't know he was half-human so mixed race erasure - has no past - clearly mockery of people with Real Memory Problems - pansexual but straight-passing - rainbow-themed but clearly has no right to the LGBT flag - culturally appropriative from several angles because he's half Rainbow/World Serpent - self-harming - deliberately eats potientally poisonous substances (not actually self-harming bc that doesn't hurt him) - drinks too much and does illegal drugs - victimised for being Chaos-aligned, so obviously against equal rights for both demons and angels - I repeat, showed up in a dream last night and now refuses to fucking leave
Oh boy lets talk about Fade! (AKA: Chymes Medera) Is NB and therefore mocking binary trans people Doesn't remember their original name or history due to traumatic brain injuries. Therefore mocking people with real brain damage. Also has memory problems because of this, which is obviously very terrible and a mockery of people with Real Memory Problems. Is sometimes a bit too happy and childlike, which means um they can't have a relationship that's pedophilia wtf Is in a relationship... with A DUDE GASP Has prosthetic arms and legs, and obviously that is unfair to people who cannot get fake arms and legs. Has psychic powers which they mostly use to blow out lightbulbs on accident. Shame on them for the rising cost of lightbulbs. Is very pretty and that is probably a sin Engages in SHENANIGANS with fellow shipmates, how could they Is a troll and an alien so therefore, illegal alien??? Their original ship was destroyed and therefore they cannot be a helmsman anymore. Probably their fault. Totally let the awful troll government oppress them.
Laverna White-passing privilege. (She's albino, but her homeland's equatorial and most people are fairly dark.) Cis scum Into women almost exclusively but 1) doesn't ID as lesbian [For shame!] (the term doesn't exist in her world because Lesbos doesn't exist) and 2) has voluntarily fucked men Has had a long-term relationship with a man despite the above Has entered abusive relationships with people she knew would abuse her, which is apologism Has killed a lot of people Some of them just because she could Has tortured people Thin privilege, who cares if it's because she's constantly starving Swaps out addictions like courtiers follow fads Unrepentant alcoholic Dated a pirate Is a gold-digger, because said pirate was also nobility Was partially responsible for her pirate girlfriend's death Has been a thief Still compulsively palms things when she's upset Got her moirail drunker than a skunk and then left him at the bar, which is probably Abuse. Is the gross scary kind of mentally ill that makes poor sweet mentally ill cinnamon rolls look bad Is kinky as fuck despite being a survivor Sometimes flips the fuck out when restrained despite being kinky as fuck Cannibalized a god while it was still alive Appropriated deity culture by becoming a goddess Before that appropriated spirit-touched culture by not revealing if she's actually part spirit or just albino, thereby failing to reveal her credentials to be allowed to identify as such. (Even if they treat them the same.) Channeler/mage privilege Uses mind-affecting magic on people without Cheerfully ignores peoples' boundaries if she doesn't like them Manipulates people both instinctively and intentionally, sometimes for laughs.
Artemis: Killed and ate at least 1 person Nonbinary and doesn't care about it, therefore toootally trivializing and mocking binary transness Intersex and doesn't care about it, probably bad somehow Ignores other peoples' boundaries Sets unreasonable boundaries for itself and enforces them violently with little provocation or warning Has little to no interest in helping others Half-cat for no good reason Steals things Manipulated people and lied to them gasp! is not punished narratively for any of this
BFF and I are remaking an old character of his; the character is now a genderfluid nogitsune who can just zap into an appropriate form when desired. Naturally, 'tis tres problematique because real people can't do that, plus the character tends to stick with male pronouns which is very offensive when he should be going by yiffself or something. (I'm totally going to put said very carefree character in a circumstance where his powers are blocked and watch him learn what it's like not to be able to do that.) His fixation on phallic weaponry is probably also super anti-feminist somehow.
