thank you everyone @PotteryWalrus i live in the US but i have no income and no insurance and my mom no longer believes in care for mental health stuff so, i'm kinda up the creek without a paddle. i know the answer is meds and therapy but those things are out of reach so. shrugs. .....i think i am parsing you as saying "i had internet friends and that was unhealthy but now i have Real Friends and you could too" and i'm not sure if i'm understanding right, if i am i am scared. i might PM you but also anxiety so, thank you and maybe?
What I meant was that I was in a period of deep depression and online friends were the only ones that helped. I've since found out that irl friends can help your mood more simply by filling that social-animal need for cuddles and touches from allies, but I think I would have been much worse off without at least someone I could talk to. I probably phrased it badly but yeah, all I meant was online friends are great but I think it would help your issues a great deal if you had some meatspace allies you could turn to as well? But at the same time I understand how terrifying it is to meet new people and try to connect with them when you're in this state. (Also what critters do you find really cute? I'm having a hard time finding cute baby shark videos for obvious reasons, but I could def summon you some baby cephlapods or seals or something <3)
ohhhh ok i understand better now. i figured my parsing was probably wrong given the fact that this is an online forum but i'm just a silly :P
...in lighter news i get weirdly happy when i find out ppl from here live in australia because. if you've ever visited the artist alley at a convention in australia you've probably met my boyfriend. hee hee
YELLS HAPPILY he lives in melbourne too!!!! he's an artist, he's in school studying animation, he's very silly and he likes to make people laugh, he likes robots and science fiction and video games and cartoons, he honest to god looks like mettaton (he cosplayed him once and handed out autographed portraits), he turned me into a furry, he thinks it's funny when i say melbourne wrong (mal-bowrn) but he uses silly australian words so we're even, he likes the color pink.
yeah so he told me!! if i can manage to get out there in november we're definitely going to the aquarium
Spoiler: not directed at one particular person just a feeling any emotion is good and healthy and acceptable to express except "hey that hurt me and i am sad and upset." "hey that hurt me and i am angry" is ok but sad is manipulative and abusive. the only way to avoid being abusive is for me to cry my Manipulative Borderline Tears somewhere no one can see them. (this is sarcastic and bitter and i'm gonna regret but who cares this is a hellscape and everyone hates me anyway. if anyone wants to fight me go to argument isle and @ me.
It means I am feeling silly and you get enough of people offering hugs, so I am going to be silly instead :P
Spoiler i am honest to god just really really tired of "i don't like this word you use for yourself why can't you use this one instead it's practically the same thing (to me)(and i like it more)" no fuck you fuck off and suck my ass i will define myself however i damn well please and if it's that unbearable for you then don't talk to me.
Spoiler all of my boyfriend's friends are cuter and hotter and better at sex things than i am, how long until he gets tired of me when he's surrounded by so many other options
i should probably make a thread just to talk about my boyfriend because i honest to god can't shut the fuck up about him but then again, who tf is going to want to read a thread dedicated strictly to me being gay for my boyfriend.
Spoiler i fucking hate that post that goes around every so often and is like "in order for someone to love you you have to talk nice about yourself! would u buy something if the salesperson told you everything wrong with it? of course not!!! so say nice things about yourself and people will love you!!!!!" i cant do that. i literally can't. it's so fuckibg hard for me to say nice things about myself and i hate hearing that i'm unlovable and undeserving of love unless i can love myself.
