Ok, so sometimes i get really bored, like "itch out of my skin make bad decisions" bored. and i'm pretty sure most people I know don't use the word "bored" the same way I do. So - my interp.: kind of twitchy, restless, trapped (I don't own a car or else i'd leave entirely but that would also be bad because - ), I make super bad life choices when I get like this, like self harm life choices (out of the 15 piercings i have, 12 of which are on my ears, ten of them were done by me at this time of brain. which i guess saves money but could have gone badly since i don't have any actual equipment to pierce with properly) (and they aren;t dramatic bad life choices, i just feel kind of disconnected from anything and kind of ???ehfuckit)...i used to smoke a lot when I hit this, and I really want to smke now, but I quit like 4 months ago and i'm trying to stick with it even though i can almost taste it (it probably doesn't help much that i started quitting self harm around the same time, so now everything's back) anyway so it's more like "I have twenty tabs open and music playing and netflix on and i want to go to a bar or get in a fight or something" bored Right now a beer and listening to Gnarls Barkley is kind of helping (sometimes music helps a little because it, like, echoes back how my brain feels) it's like twitchy bored anger combined with "all of the things that I've quit are back and knocking on my brain". it's also kind of obnxious that my only real coping mechanisms for my brain are beer and music these days. oh, data point, i get like this when i'm alone mostly, but rn everyone i know is busy or not answering texts or boring, so i don't know if i'm alone because i'm "bored" or bored because i'm alone. like, correlated, but causation is questionable? Anyway, mostly i'm wondering if anyone else gets like this, and what they do, because i'm mostly out of beer (but not gnarls barkley so that's good haha) also sorry if my spelling is kind of fucked in this, i was going to edit as i go the way i ususally do but that was boring and frustraying (and also so far i m only diagnosed depressed [almost typed "deppressing" whoops] and currently in assessment for adhd)
to me it sounds like a combo of adhd and some sort of...adrenaline-seeking need? I could be totally off-base, but would something like video games, or action/horror movies...idk, basically anything that can give you a rush but isn't actually dangerous, maybe that could help?
Hmmm. I have legitimately never tried this. Hang on. Edit: I'm trying with a video game because i was watching the 100 earlier and then i kept fucking off to play phone games and then i nearly threw the phone across the room and then i lost a good quarte of the plot so
Update: I tried to find a specific video game, got distracted, tried to get hoyle board games to work on my computer, had a brief argument with the cd, ended up playing fall out 3 for about an hour, and then started watching Brothers Grimm. It musta worked, because I'm freezing and hella tired, so i think i'm gonna turn off the movie and go to bed thanks for the suggestion, yo. you probably saved some poor bystander from secondhand smoke.
hey, I'm glad it worked! TBH, I read some study a while back that "bored" means your brain is not getting enough stimulation to function properly, and is therefore trying to get you to do something. When I'm adhd-bored I get jittery and restless and I can have a hard time settling on one thing to do, sometimes I have to do multiple things at once. But beating stuff up in a video game is usually good. It can be hard to figure out exactly what will satisfy your brain, especially when it's wired weird.
yeah. I used to be able to go hit on a punching bag when i did that, because otherwise I'd snark off to people and get in trouble, but that was when I lived at home. Plus, as it turns out, it's not a good thing to wire your brain into violence as a reaction to certain moods, especially when you're low-grade ticked off at most things anyway. I punched my printer once. I've mostly quit that, but it's tough finding stuff that will replace it, especially when I've tried to quit a lot of my other "coping mechanisms". Thanks, though! Now I know it works, it should be easier to set "play a video game" as the reaction to that mood. I'm going to go take a nap. for 8 hours.
