What are your fan fiction gripes?

people sort of jump on any sign of a ship, and the next thing you know it's assumed to be a twenty year married relationship in fanon, which is weird

 

I knew it would happen, but I didn't think it'd be a trend! I expected weird cuckolded by my own mother stuff from the moment I laid eyes on the worlds hottest Grandma, but I thought that was kinda niche.

 

Its an interesting thing that can be done well. Im just tired of my ship being a failure before someone else ship so we can go oh pharmercy is better look at this nonfailing thing. I just want more anamercy fic that is just that. Alternatively anamercypharah.

 

Polyshipping is always the answer. Even though it makes squeamish kids go EWWW.

 

Just cover angela in women. All the women. Except tracer.

 

There REALLY *isn't* ANY NEED AT ALL to *EMPHASISE EVERY OTHER WORD!* ESPECIALLY in such a WIDE RANGE of *ways*.

 

oh my god this

i read a badfic (a very, very badfic) recently in which the author was willing to use italics for like, flashbacks and what-not, but never for emphasis. for emphasis, it was always, always CAPSLOCK, and the rapid alternation of all-lowercase and CAPSLOCK combined with the incredibly stilted dialogue gave the impression that the characters were alternating between monotone and SCREAMING in the same breath.

example:

 

as someone who loves emphasis used in writing and of varying sorts this pains the man

 

the author also seemed to never use exclamation points, even when they would be appropriate;

(yes, this fic is also Holy Ableism Batman, how did you guess?)

 

...I can't help reading that dialogue in a Tommy Wiseau voice. "Holy shit. He is going through one of his spasms. Get me his pills and medicine. Oh hai Mark."

 

OKAY I'M GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO READ THAT IN TOMMY WISEAU'S VOICE

 

(and for the amazing combination of both excessive CAPSLOCK and extreme lack of exclamation marks, i present...)

 

LET HIM GOOOOOOOOOO~
LET HIM GOOOOOOOOOO~
DON'T HOLD HIM BACK ANYMOOOOOORE~

 

I'm so happy to see that dead, sarcastic "NOOOOOOOO." because it's a level of emotional nuance in dialogue that only My Immortal comes close to capturing.

 

Replace it with this. :::PPP

 

That was one of my objections to a certain infamous gore fic. It read more or less like "Oh no. You are hacking my arm off. Eek. Eek."

 

So, your three relationship tags are "Tony Stark/Stephen Strange," "Steve Rogers/Tony Stark," and "One-Sided - Relationship."

Okay. Which one of those is one-sided.

(the notes section informs me that it's a tony stark/stephen strange fic, which means that the steve/tony is the one-sided relationship, but. still.)

 

addendum (since i've been reading doctor strange fic): what the hell is it about Johnlock that makes people want to ship two characters that just happen to be played by Cumberbatch and Freeman, even if it makes no sense? like - stephen strange/everett ross, really? they share a cinematic universe, that's about it

like, i know cumberbatch has a certain Type of characters he tends to play - ie., arrogant intellectual assholes - but they're not actually interchangeable, and freeman's characters aren't interchangeable with each other either..???

i mean, ship what you want, whatever, but also, why.

 

I suspect they want to write RPF but don't want to admit it. (See also: People writing Bilbo/Smaug after the Hobbit movies came out. Seriously, just write the RPF. Please.)

 

... but that removes the dragon fucking, which is the only element of that pairing I actually find appealing :(