@ChelG oh, I knew about that one. in fact I read the whole thing through like three years ago in a fit of masochism. I just forgot about that particular McGonagall quote, and I am very indignant because McGonagall is Excellent go find someone else to OOCly befoul. but I don't give much of a shit about Dumbledore, tbh.
Reminds me; fanfics which feel the need to make everyone super-hot. Here is the most extreme version I've ever found: Spoiler: Neither worksafe nor brainsafe, allusions to rape. He also revealed a surprisingly youthful body. The ancient wizard had broad shoulders, washboard-firm stomach, narrow waist, and he was hung like a centaur! Snape gulped in amazement. Dumbledore had kept his robes on the first time. He had really seen only that purple head of the cock before it had disappeared into his body in a sea of pain. And, as could be expected with their past relationship, Severus had never had occasion, or inclination to see the man naked. He could not believe that anyone over sixty could look like this, let alone someone who was nearly one hundred and sixty years old! No wonder the Headmaster had been able to manhandle him so easily! Poor Severus was so terrified that he could only gap at Dumbledore, eyes wide with confusion, mouth open like a fish out of water. How could this be? Past the wrinkles on his hands and face the older wizard had well-defined muscles that fairly rippled as he moved, like an athlete. Could it be natural? He very much doubted it unless Albus was not completely human. Was this done with the aid of a potion or some powerful magic? This was much more likely. Written in apparent seriousness, I add.
Oh yes, another fandom-specific one; fifteen years ago when there was a more active Redwall fandom (back in the days of little fan-sites and one or two forums rather than big organised ones) people seemed to think it was the height of hilarity to go on and on about how we don't see characters go to the lavatory in the books. Even age twelve I thought that was stupid.
But everyone in MI is OOC! :::DDD I consider My Immortal such a work of badfic art that it's basically its own separate canon. A hilarious one.
Oh, oh. Inconsistent swearing! Good for a giggle but rarely in-character. For example, I cannot easily picture Martin the Warrior either describing the actions of a friend who betrayed him over something serious as "utter cow-skite" nor casually dropping f-bombs, and I especially can't picture him doing both of those things within two sentences of each other. Or there was a Harry Potter one in which "Ronald Fucking Weasley" The Death Eater was in the very next sentence called a "prat". Livejournal reviewer szaleniec1000 said "Presumably this author's version of the final battle had Harry call Voldemort a pillock and describe his philosophy as bobbins."
Swearing with weird fucking substitutions always gets me. I will never hear "bullshit" without thinking of the absolutely obnoxious "bullpoopy" from fucking House of Night. Never.
I have to thank you, because that reminded me of a truly beautiful bit from one of the Dragaera books. Paraphrased: "I gave a brief dissertation on fertilizer. She did not look impressed by my knowledge of fertilizer."
I know this isn't fanfiction but trying to find a particularly cringey passage has just reminded me why really godawful fanfiction doesn't fuss me. Because House of Night? House of Night is bad. It's really bad. It's really really really bad. Like, how can I be mad about fanfiction that isn't even monetized when this shit is published and GETTING A GODDAMN TV SERIES. Spoiler: nsfw
I'm loving MSP's reviews of that book. For some reason I read them when I was in middle school. To this day I have no idea why.
I had them up until like... book five? At which point it just. Was too much. And I actually got to read the decent vampire lit from the adults section, which pretty much scratched the itch in a way better way. They had great fucking covers though, I tell you what.
Is there a general writing griping thread? I know there's the "things that bother you about shit you love" thread, and this one for fanfic, but is there like a general 'oh my god please let me rage for HOURS about these goddamn shitty books' thread?
Thank frigging god for MSP. Even with her commentary it's straight-up painful, and from all accounts it keeps getting worse.
If someone could toss me a link to that too, I'd appreciate it. The frothing rage inside of me requires validation.
