What are your fan fiction gripes?

Update to update: We have concluded that the author really wanted to be writing a daemon AU instead.

At least if humanity are all carrying psychic alien symbiotes that warp their bodies and minds, that explains some of the questionable biology of a/b/o. :::PPP

 

Update to update to update:

 

Thing relevant to OOCness from How Not to Write a Novel:

 

Come to think of it, can we call an outright ban on the word "somehow" in narrative?

 

Can we add "seemed" to the ban?

 

Tumblr is making me feel like I have to justify canon-impossible or sunken ships with something more complex than "it's an AU" :(

 

fun fact: "you can't stop me" is a perfectly reasonable justification

 

Okay, out of sheer spite to the antis spamming Homestuck het tags, I've decided to write the most overwhelmingly John/Rose Dave/Jade fic ever; recs for research purposes? Tips on being confident with non-canon pairings?

 

I distinctly recall a tweet about how all ships are canon.

Apart from that, uh, imagine everyone yelling at you to have a muppet version of themselves on their shoulder muppeting around? And then laugh.

 

To be more appropriate, can it be a Smuppet?

 

It sounds distracting, but I don’t see why not.

 

An otherwise fantastic fic continually missuses the word "askance" and it jars me right out of the narrative every single time. -_-

 

You should at least give it askance before you write it off!

 

My inability to fit "cross-species hebephilic adoptive incest of which one party's a murderer and the other's codependent on him" into the tune of "SadoMasoPedoRoboNecroBestiality".

 

Writing an AU and I think I fucked up on the timing. I'm absolutely not going to start Dead Dove-ing a preteen but I had him taken into captivity as a young child, and now I have to come up with shit to fill in the time till I can get gory.

 

I think I made a mistake in trying to work two fics wildly different in tone into the same AU.

 

Exciting new update from YOI Badfic Friend: they discovered a doctor AU fic which felt the need to explain in the narration what sutures are, but not to explain for several chapters that when medical residents say "pimping," they mean "singling someone out to ask them a bunch of hard questions in front of a group until they screw up."

 

Said fic also features a ~romantic date~ where they go to a restaurant overlooking the ocean and eat... poutine.

Also:

 

The Brainbent, er, discussion in Tumblr.txt led me to checking out the TV Tropes page.

I will frankly always be impressed at how confidently the people on this site completely miss the point of the canons they're talking about.

 

Better way to put it; in Brainbent, Bro doesn't have the excuse of an evil mind-controlling puppet.