when you're in one of those "three people and a shoestring" fandoms and can't stand the writing style of the most prolific fic author
when a fic's author's note starts with "(X and Y) have an abusive relationship in canon and I acknowledge that but in this fic--" and you just know the author's terrified that writing what they want to write will get the toxic judgement guns pointed in their direction, and they're trying to head it off
"Plotless", it says. This fic is not plotless. This fic has an excellent and hair raising plot that is intimidating me to the point where I can only read a few chapters at a time. This fic is 42 chapters long and counting. "Plotless".
That's honestly one of the big reasons I don't bother reading fic in certain fandoms unless I know for a fact that one of the f/f ships is popular enough that it wouldn't be filled with misfiled fics. Like if it's got a decent chunk of males in the cast and ISN'T a fandom run by yuri loving shitlords like Nanoha it's just nope no fic reading for me unless i really super badly ship a m/m thing or a het thing I think the only time I soldiered on through this was Homestuck fandom wherein there was a bunch of mislabeled background lesbians crap but also a bunch of actual content.
The worst thing is when the Default Background Lesbians that are in every fic are characters you like separately but don't work as a ship So you're sitting there like "why is the pairing so universally accepted as an established couple when they've NEVER MET IN CANON?"
Also, "why are all of you portraying them this way, if they were together they wouldn't be like that!" But they're in the background. They're always in the background. No one cares. Also also, when they're really obviously only there to facilitate the main relationship.
I swear, it all goes back to the fluffification of wlw ships If they can't have conflict, all they can be used for is support (insert ship here) And since they can't have conflict, any dynamic must be squished down into standardized Cute Lesbian Interactions
why the sam hill do people keep writing captain america being Too Virtuous To Kill Anyone and Hating Guns? that's... that's not captain america. that's batman. batman is the one who has a weird codependent yo-yo relationship with clownface hannibal lector because he's too fastidious to finish the job. captain america is the one who shoots nazis in the fucking face.
not a full-blown gripe yet but... do cars backfire anymore? i was under the impression that was a leaded gasoline thing. i haven't heard a car backfire in at least a decade, and in the decade before that it might've been some other sharp noise i was interpreting as a car backfire, i'm not sure. might've been someone slamming a dumpster lid or having a fender bender. it's definitely been at least 20 years since i've heard a definitely for sure exhaust backfire noise and been able to look and see the car that did it. and yet somehow, whenever you write a character with combat-related PTSD, there's conveniently an exhaust backfire to make them act like a damn fool in public so you can milk the pity angle. look, i grew up with like 6 uncles who were all traumatized vietnam vets, and had a shit ton of friends who saw ugly fighting in various places, and not ONE of them ever hit the deck when they heard a loud bang. at the most, they froze for a split second. most of them definitely looked around to determine where the noise came from, but they were subtle about it. their reaction was not a surprise to them, and they were hyperalert but not panicky. so can we please stop having bucky barnes throwing himself behind cafe counters like a big drama queen? the one exception i'll make is in that fic where he adopts a rundown building full of old people, and the oven timer makes a noise like a detonation warning and he tackles his elderly friend behind the couch. that was adorable and it's also not a noise you hear every day.
I think that one is This You Protect? The one where he stalks Steve across New York and makes friends with Jarvis
by the way, for reference, military gunfire doesn't sound anything like a car backfire. you might have a police character be triggered by a backfire, because it does sound a bit like a large caliber handgun. but military weaponry makes more of a clattering or rattling noise. soldiers commonly set their weapons on three-round bursts, and in a firefight will fire several bursts in succession. it is, to quote eliot from leverage, a very distinctive sound. if you want to have a veteran character triggered by sounds, you'd do better using something like a helicopter. i once wrote a character who, due to magic shenanigans, had given up a chunk of memories pertaining to his service and didn't know why he had scars like road rash all over his back, but he noticed he got real tense whenever he heard a humvee engine. so he bought a humvee and drove it around until the reaction stopped happening. soldiers have a tendency to run towards the screaming, as it were. i would really like ficcers to start writing them like people who have deliberately and consciously and voluntarily entered situations where death is an accepted occupational hazard.
Not sure abt cars, but our golf carts at work definitely do backfire fairly often. We almost caused an elderly man with a pacemaker to kick the bucket a while back, it was terrible.
