When people send me comments on old fics of mine. Pease no. Read my other work it is better. I mean it is still shit but it doesn't fill me with ENDLESS SHAME. please no I love the comments I do! BUT THEY ALSO PAIN ME.
This, except guilt over a fanfic I haven't updated in over six years and am afraid to reread so I can start working on it again.
I have a fic that's co-written by my ex-moirail and neither of us are touching it despite requests to return to it. Buddy, I'm sorry, but that is a long and drawn-out fight that neither of us are up for just so you can find out if Saki Konishi lives this time.
Doesn't Deadpool make reference to his producing large weaponry out of nowhere involving a lot of lubricant?
Another peeve; describing a character as looking like a bodybuilder when he probably wouldn't. Specifically, there's a character who was a slave from pretty much birth, who makes reference to being beaten into working when he was barely old enough to walk. He's definitely pretty strong canonically, but not being fed enough and being forced into manual labour when he was far too young is going to mess his health up a lot, not to mention the hells of scarring. I'm not picturing conventional hotness here.
And afaik, bodybuilders are doing it for the #aesthetic, not utility. So useful muscle doesn't look like that anyways.
Spoiler: nsfw On a reread, the fic lingered extra hard over just how soft and flexible the inside of his tailpipe was, which was extra because someone else was banging the guy's convenient xeno robo-gina at the same time. The general fandom term for robot butts is their aft, which is still silly and indulgent, but less story-breaking silly than this was. (and I just realized, the guy had been undergoing brutal long-term potentially-fatal sexual torture before this, but his delicate, soft butthole was left untouched and pristine? Why???? This story bothers me so much)
This discussion of robot behinds is far, far more hilarious to me than it really should be. Other pet hate; characters randomly fucking when they really, really, really have better things to be doing, like RUNNING AWAY.
I read an otherwise-good fic the other day that used "orbs" to refer to eyes completely unironically, in the year 2016.
Yeah, they actually have to dehydrate themselves before competitions to get that "skin vacuum-sealed to muscles" look. (See also that "how to draw beef" thing Coelasquid did which has been chopped up and passed around the entire internet.)
I both agree and disagree, because there are some old fics I am proud of, that I would LOVE to get comments on. Other old fics...not so much. (I am very happy to get kudos on old fics though, but also sometimes surprised.)
Characters randomly fucking when they should be doing literally anything else. THERE WAS A GODDAMN PLOT IN HERE A MINUTE AGO, GET BACK TO THE GODDAMN PLOT.
stories that totally derail the second characters have sex and lose all plot suddenly everything is sex scenes and it's stupid
Did you mean: the Anita Blake series? (ITS SO FRUSTRATING because I picked up her Merry Gentry books over Thanksgiving and they're much better despite the concept because Hamilton isn't constantly derailing her own plot for the sex scenes, she actually properly wrote them in.)
actually YES, that and one specific fanfic i just you advertised these as having MYSTERY AND MURDER please give me more of that instead of bad sex scenes also why is every guy pretty but toooootallly not feminine what the fuck
there's this one popular Les Mis fic where the summary says (paraphrased) "Les Amis is a powerful hacktivist collective and Grantaire unknowingly becomes entangled in their world" but the content is literally just 90% Enjolras and Grantaire having kinky sex. Author pls, i wanted to read about the hacktivists, that was such an interesting premise for a modern au ;_;
I'd become entangled in their world, if you know what I mean. (Please tell me if you know what I mean, because I don't.)
See, maybe I'm an outlier, but…I don't really read plot-heavy fanfic. When I want plot, there's millions of words of published stuff available to me, but when I want porn I can actually enjoy or character interaction that meets a particular need, fanfic is my best option. Sometimes it's because, you know, canon told me what happens to those characters when there's a plot (and in my fandoms it's usually "they die screaming"), but canon didn't tell me what happens if those characters bang, or if one of them has a bad dream and someone else comforts them, or (99% of the time) how they deal with their canonical trauma. I just care way more about the characters than the plot, in general. It's definitely a matter of personal taste, I guess is my point. (and I really like that Les Mis fic)
