It's been almost a week since my last night terror! And my sleep schedule has been decent. I've missed a night of sleep here and there but it hasn't screwed me up.
These beautiful cinnamon rolls too good for this world, too pure. Look at them. Look at the joy and light that radiates from these people. Look how beautiful and full of life they are. I love them so much.
I'm going to go collect dragonfly molts this summer. For science! :D Oh, dragonfly babies, how I have missed you. The nymphs have xenomorph jaws, and propel themselves with farts, and caused a panic about mutant frogs, and can only be identified by counting the hairs on their chins. My babies. <3
Roommate, who is in a multicultural class for her teaching degree, requested my research help to find more contemporary readings for the LGBT portion of her class (which, being from '83 and '90 respectively, is not that outdated, but does not reflect the current attitudes in the US right now, and especially does not for the kids my roommate will end up teaching), and then her professor said we could help, and also is letting me come to the gay panel they're having next week. I am enthralled. We're going to wear so much flannel. I love reading papers and looking for sources and talking about lgbt issues, i love it so much. side thing because it's related to the above but not totally relevant to this thread: Spoiler: this sure turned into a few paragraphs i feel like half of this love comes from the fact that lgbt history doesn't have a way to get properly passed down from generation to generation the way most minority cultures can. most twelve year olds who realize they're lgbt have to reinvent their own culture. (it's an arbitrary number - i figured out my general bi-ness in early high school, and i know other people might still be questioning through their sixties). Like, I watched pbs' stonewall uprising and got weird and weepy for days, because i had no idea. added to that the fact that the general society tends to discourage age-mixing especially in lgbt culture, and that many lgbt groups also do this (you know, like how many lgbt meeting spaces are in bars, or super late at night, or in questionable neighborhoods. ) I'm assuming it's better now, but i have no way of knowing, because seebs and jesse are the first people I've met over thirty who are lgbt. but i also don't know if this is a common experience! I grew up in a rural environment in the nineties, as did my roommate. I don't have anyone in my family who's lgbt (my brother is also bi, but never talks about it because he basically exclusively dated women and is currently married to a woman, and i'm glad he's happy, but it would have helped if he'd bothered to help me with the same issues. Also, apparently my dad has a gay cousin, but in true rural lutheran minnesota fashion, I have never met him and also never knew this until like six years after i came out.) anyway, one day i'll totally write a book about lgbt issues that aren't legal.
I grew up mostly in an extremely liberal environment in the early 2000s (I was born in North Carolina, but moved to California in 1999, at the young age of six, so I don't remember much of that), and I do think the experience is at least partially location-based. Growing up, one of my best friends was a girl whose mom was a lesbian. I never really thought much of it--I just viewed her as "Rowen's mom who's very nice and nerdy and makes the best French toast ever," not as "Rowen's mom who is gay." And there were at least two other kids at my (tiny) elementary school who had gay parents, and my family's been friends with a wonderful middle-aged gay man (and his husband) since I was very young, so I grew up knowing plenty of LGBT adults (many of whom were like family to me) and not really thinking much of it. And some of that might also come from the fact that my parents are incredibly open-minded, so they never really cared either way what my orientation was, or what anyone else's was. (My dad often says, "The only person whose orientation matters to me is my wife's," which is great. XD) My mom even told me once that people like Jeff and Rob (the aforementioned gay family friends) and Peggy and Cathy (another pair of more recent family friends, also happily married) are the kinds of people she thinks are good role models for me, since they're kind and caring and generally just good people. TL;DR: It probably does vary at least somewhat from place to place and family to family. Anyway, today I bought Tomodachi Life, since it was on sale. Pretty happy about that! And tomorrow I'm going up to SF to hang out with friends at the cherry blossom festival. :D
I have kept my kitchen sink clean and empty for almost a week. No dishes lingeringly for days, nothing! I'm putting things in the dishwasher and washing them and putting things away!
Bought a Lego kit today and just made it so my existing minifigs would have somewhere to sit. Spoiler: Double-decker couch! Precious lego children of mine. So precious. Also it was really foggy on Thursday. I love fog. Iirc my Homestuck land is Fog and Tea. Spoiler: Fog, bitches
Talking about Buddhism fills me with a great joy. A very great one. Though I get annoyed at how Buddhism is used to support the status quo and to hurt others I am filled with joy knowing that, at its core, Buddhism is exceptionally radical and exceptionally ideal as drive for activism. BUDDHISM. NAMO TASSA BHAGAVATO ARAHATO SAMMASAMBUDDHASSA.
i just discovered that my ex actually didn't hate me, and in fact, had thought i left tumblr when really i hadn't. and 'cause i assumed he hated me, way back then, i didn't try to get back into contact - until today, when i saw of his posts on the tumblr mobile tags, unsure if it was his, and recklessly pressed "like" on it. (fuck yes adhd!) yes! :D we're interacting again and he doesn't hate me!!! and yeah, this whole thing basically came out as a result of tumblr being buggy. then was fixed as a result of the tumblr mobile tags being different than the tumblr computer tags!!! :D yes!!!
Oh man, I rewatched the Dragonball Z abridged series, which sent me on a clip hunt, and now I think i just might have to watch the series proper. At this point, I've read seven fanfics, one over 100K long, and I've vagueplotted an arc for a hypothetical series staring the kids and some ocs. It feels so fucking weird to be this invested in a thing I haven't even watched yet, and it's really eating into my productivity, but fuck, I'm charmed. It has me hooked and I haven't even started watching it, damn.
I read my poems in front of people and our online mag came out today. im so excited! If anyone wants to check out the online mag its: zaumpress.wix.com/zaum#!__zaum-xs-2015 Its the best one yet! >.<
people still send me nice messages even after i haven't improved in 5 million years and that's pretty amazing i guess
I got laid off and I feel more relieved than afraid. My housemates are supportive friends who'll point me to possible workplaces, and I'm now free from the hour-each-way commute, with just enough money put aside that I should be able to tide things over for a month or two even if I run into trouble with applying for unemployment. I think I'll try to find something not-retail to broaden my experience.
The local FYE got in stock some Alpacas styled off characters from one of my favorite shows (Tiger and Bunny). I went there hoping they were still in stock, and they were!
Today I am a very happy queer! Last night after a shitty day I came over to Gui's place with my knitting. I got to learn how to turn a heel, nerd out on Pre-Raphaelism, eat veggie burgers and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, all in the company of best fucking friends, and also got gender goodfeels from being in the house and from my friend Will saying I look really cute in a binder. It's 9 am, the boys are still asleep, the cleaning lady is in my house unfucking my habitat for me and I have no work today and have skipped class in celebration, thus having a beautiful day of warmth, friendship and knitting ahead of me.
I'm starting work (or at least filling out tax stuff :P) today, and to make things even better, I GOT A CANON HOMESTUCK URL!!
I just found out I don't have to go to the school I'll be having my internship in tonight, during a holiday, an hour away from my home and in the pouring rain, while I'm overworked as all fuck. I'm so relieved and facing the prospect of having actual free time today! UPDATE: turns out my other workplace (the one I have to grade a buttload of essays for each week) is also doing an extended holiday and closed today, so the material I thought I had to hand in today is due only on Wednesday. What this means to me is I literally don't have to leave the house until Wednesday morning, which in turn means SWEET INTROVERTED VICTORY.
Gonna go cut back honeysuckle if the weather allows on Saturday. <3 (Honeysuckle is an invasive around here, it likes to take over.) Weeding makes me inordinately happy, even if I feel sad for killing things because I am THE MOST fluffy. I feel sad about eating gummi bears, I am not kidding. But it's so nice to get outside and do something physical that has a visible and tangible impact upon the world.
The train went under the bridge while I was standing on the bridge! I stood still for a while and watched it go under my feet all "haha trains :D". It was a very satisfying experience.
Two happy scenes today. First, I was grabbing tea at the campus diner when I ran across my friend Pedro, who's a sweetheart and an example of style for me, and we both basically looked at one another and gasped because he looked REALLY HANDSOME today in a beige knit sweater and nice-fitting jeans and soft long blonde hair and I look REALLY HANDSOME today in sparkly blue makeup + nailpolish, a shimmery mermaid scarf, a minty-blue flower crown, black skinny pants and a tailored jacket. We just kinda stopped to fawn at one another and how great we looked and wow. Second, as I was returning to the nurse's office I saw two ladies walking a dog on campus, and the dog excitedly jumped on a security guard, and the guy got a bit startled and jumped back and then everyone involved, including him, started to laugh really loudly at that scene and pet the dog and talk to one another, which was so sweet :3
