whatever

I hate people who remain wilfully ignorant to what I'm saying.

 

I'm bored and lonely.

 

I'm in that shitty mood where I want to be totally emotionally destroyed so I can feel like I have an actual reason to be miserable.

 

Slept twelve hours last night and want to go to bed earlier than usual again. I should talk to the doc if this carries on, but it might just be a routine change thing.

 

Had standard birthday mood drop, feeling much better now. Yay, new books!

 

Really bad mood drop and I don't know what's causing it. Probably routine change. Really hard to just not go to sleep to avoid it though, but I have stuff I need to do :(

 

Talked to doc about changing meds, upped one antidepressant and got blood test to see if I can go back on the other.

Homestuck family trees are a bugger because Rose and Dave not being siblings feels wrong, Dave and Dirk not being siblings feels wrong, Roxy being an odd one out of the four feels wrong, and Roxy and Dirk being siblings feels outright creepy thanks to their canon interactions - though, then again, Rose and Dave were weirdly flirtatious too. Half-siblings with different halves might be the solution?

 

Okay, sorted that out. Magic is helpful.

 

Yucky period probably not helping brainweird.

 

Haven't been using this much, should probably get back to it. Successfully expanded ferrets' diet a little. They're as hard as me to get onto new stuff, but soupies seem to be working to introduce new things.

 

I would absolutely sleep in a gigantic pile of Jigglypuff.

 

Wonder if personifying my Inner Critic a la Terrible Writing Advice would help. For some reason I'm picturing her as dominatrix-meets-Heathers and also as definitely cis.

 

Got the ferts some pinkies as a treat. Salem didn't seem too bothered but Pendle couldn't get enough!

 

I've put weight back on in terms of mass but my clothes still feel a little looser. Guess the gym is helping.

 

Crying, probably because forgot medication.

 

Persuaded ferrets to eat at least a little of the tripe mix they didn't want.

 

Haven't put anything in here in a while. Might help if I do. I tend to get into the "say shit that makes sense to me at the time but not anyone else and get in fights over it" mode when I don't vent sufficiently to clear my head. Doing generally sort of okay, kinda meh. It's hard to define what isn't perfect.

 

My therapist's been off all last month and won't be back till the end of this month. I hope she's okay. Guess I should call the helpline again in the meantime. Don't want her coming back to find me completely relapsed.

 

Ferrets are snoring! So cuuuute.

 

I wasn't ever really THAT into Harry Potter, but I'm getting hyperfixated on it now just because I resent being told what to interact with or not.