Which kintsugijin should you fight?

Do not fight @Morven . Morven is a priestess of Freya and you don't want to mess with that. They'll put you in the hospital, then send you flowers. They'll show up to visit you when your relatives are there and get invited to family dinner. Your family loves them more than you. On second thought, foght Morven. Your family will ultimately be grateful to you.

Don't fight @Deresto ! Before you even get a chance to land a blow he'll deliver you a verbal smackdown so thorough that you'll be left a crying mess on the floor. Then he'll awkwardly but sincerely pat your back.

@Missfortunate Seriously? Why? You're a monster for even considering it. Regardless, for all that she is a beautiful cinnamon roll, Missfortunate will fuck you up and look really cute as she does so.

@Petra : YOU MONSTER.

@a tiny mushroom and @(Not) Literally A Bird : these two may look harmless, but tiny mushrooms can be deadly poisonous and birds can do some serious damage, plus they're a team. Do not engage.

@Silvereye : The question of whether you should fight Silvereye is moot. Silvereye knows your plans and is snickering to themself. You'd have to be able to reach them first. Silvereye will remain blissfully unbothered by your existence.

@seebs : Oh yes, you can tooootally fight seebs. Really, it'll be soooo easy. Do it. Fight seebs. She is just a nerd with princess hair, what could you possibly lose? Fight seebs. Send me pictures. *ehehehehe*

NOW DO ME I WANNA SEE HOW I FITE :D

Also @pixels, now I'm curious about my pastrysona.

 

COME AT ME BROS

 

attempts some Kintsugi Fight things (and guys, you're awesome, btw):

@albedo: do not fight albedo. he will try to understand your brain and end up discovering/theorizing stuff about you that makes you go, "how the hell did i not think of this before? it makes so much sense!"
like, he'll literally pwn your brain.
and albedo's fought much worse than you before, like just look at his mother!

@sicknastyspades: ss will lead you to reevaluate some of your fave things - and you will like it. don't fight @sicknastyspades and their sick nasty beats!

 

the @seebs, @jacktrash, @Vast Derp trio: do not fight the trio. each of them is incredible on their own, and when they're all together, they can blow you away. they are the spock, kirk and bones of tumblr and kintsugi. logic, heart and sass.

 

Oh darn I might end up writing that Kintsugi IN SPACE story after All.

 

@wes scripserat Kintsugi IN SPACE?

 

YES
Possibly w/ seebs and Jesse as leaders of a colony.

 

@wes scripserat that, haha, split off from the at least slightly dystopian planet of tumblr?

i wonder what i'd be IN SPACE. :D

 

@Lerxst : A tough one. On the one hand, Alex is so fucking nice why would you do that. On the other, he's tough and works out and all that choir practice certainly guarantees he has a mighty war cry. Aw, why the heck not. Fight Alex. It'll be fun. You'll probably get an asskicking from him, but you'll both laugh it off in the end and come out of the fight bonded as bros.

 

please do me I want to know how I 'd do

 

@Bel Capricorn You'll lose just by deciding to enter a fight with Bel Capricorn. He will probably not even hit you, just look at you and be very disappointed in your choices. You'll feel bad about yourself. You'll walk away from the fight, defeated, without ever even touching Bel Capricorn. Rethink your life if you're considering fighting him.

@wes scripserat Fight wes??? What kind of horrible souless creature even are you??????? You kn ow what? I've been feeling really tense, so I'd actually love for you to try to fight wes just so I have an excuse to beat your ass. Even the pope would nod gently and say "yes this is right" if I kicked your ass for thinking of fighting wes. In conclusion: go fight wes. Go on. I'll be waiting.

 

@Beldaran - if you fight beldaran you had better at least be wearing a tuxedo cause that motherfucker will outclass you in a thong bikini

 

Why can't I like this more than once it's unfair

 

BRB putting this on my resume.

 

I'm gonna make a big post for this thread when I get the chance.

Prepare.

 

Eeee! Thank you!

@wixbloom : do you really want to fight wixbloom? Are you sure you want to fight wixbloom? Wixbloom has had lots of practice with people who try to fight them, so they'll just use some outstandingly intricate moves and you will lose. But they will be really nice about it afterwards. Fight at your own risk.

@hoarmurath : you will lose, because hoarmurath is secretly Thor and will trounce you. But if it's a good day she will notice what is ailing you and give you a hint. It will help you a lot after you have gotten up from the floor. Then again, if it is a bad day no one will ever see you again. Fight hoarmurath. It'll be awesome. For spectators, not necessarily you.

 

I actually have a big squinty-eyed doofus grin on my face about people liking what I wrote about them.

 

@Acey yes, your teeth and ambitions are bared
be prepared