I see an argument on Tumblr. People are being assholes. It's 4AM and my crappy feels act up. I want to cry. And what do I do? I look for the source. The reblogs. I look for who's telling who to kill themselves. I look for who is making posts about how bad they're feeling. And the deeper I go the more it hurts me, but I just want to go deeper. It's unhealthy and I eventually manage to pry myself away from it, but I want to know WHY THE HELL DO I DO THAT?!?!
I do it too. For me it's because I just...Really want to know how bad it is? And when I don't I have to fight against obsessing over it and coming up with worst case scenarios. I just want to see how deep the rabbit hole goes because if I don't I'll just imagine how far. Anxiety is a bitch.
I know that people like to read fiction where horrible things happen to the characters. It might be a way for you to experience your own feelings through other people's problems?
I don't like it, I just have this morbid curiosity and I want to know what happened. But maybe wanting to explore my feelings has something to do with it? I have no idea.
