Why do we even have that lever?

they're for traction! they're supposed to interlock with the barbs on the bottom of your conveyance to propel you faster.

why does this room have a magic field that makes bones heavier, but doesn't affect anything else?

 

The sentient cephalopods that made the place wanted to keep bone-having pests out of their beautiful home.

Why do you have to stand on a gigantic switch in the middle of the floor in another room to open the front door of this building?

 

it's a child safety feature. the building is inhabited by poltergeists, who have a mass of zero. young poltergeists have no way of pressing down on the switch and must remain inside unless accompanied by an adult. in adolescence, however, they learn to generate forces strong enough to activate the mechanism.

that entities with a mass greater than the programmed threshold can activate it merely by wandering across is a complete coincidence.

as for the inconvenience aspect of having it be in another room: the front room has a different and incompatible set of machinery concealed under the floor and around the walls, designed to frighten and/or entertain visitors and/or intruders, which by the rules of poltergeist society is obviously more important than going outside

 

Why is it that when the queen regnant fell ill, all the grass and shrubs around the castle started dying?

 

The queen was psychically connected to the plants. It could be argued that they were a part of her. And if she fell ill, so too did the plants.

Why does this forcefield around the vegetable garden exist?

 

squirrels

how come, when someone's standing outside their house and you barge past them and take all their shit, they don't raise a stink unless they were line of sight while you were taking it, even when they go back into their house and all their shit is gone?

 

(can’t think of a response for yours but this killed me thank u)

 

I was concerned that I might have been overly dismissive, giving you a one-word answer. Glad you liked it

 

You wouldn’t believe these squirrels. Seriously, after the last couple years and all the petty claims cases that had to be taken back to court after someone discovered an entire sitting room worth of knickknacks half buried near a tree with a squirrel scolding from above as they investigated, absolutely nobody wants to repeat that. If you don’t actually observe the thief, you must know that it’s possible, however unlikely, that a squirrel got in and robbed you blind. Or a goose, those things are also hazardous.

Why does drinking milk prevent me from going blind and dying in these woods?

 

The local plantlife produces a thaumotoxic dust that results in blindness and, eventually, death; local animal life has several methods to counteract this, ranging from a lack of eyes (the toxin's mechanism relies upon the eyes) to producing enzymes to break down the toxin to having potent antimagic to various magic-based methods of destroying the dust.

Mammals that produce the enzyme or other anti-toxic-dust substances/spells on their own also produce it in their milk, ensuring their offspring are properly immunized to the toxin; some of these have been domesticated and their milk used to provide humans with the immunity. Their meat also works- if eaten raw.


Why are snowballs with a diameter of over a meter regularly thrown in perfectly straight lines on this old mountain trail?

 

They're semi-autonomous patrol golems, actually. They were very popular for a while, as a security measure - much cheaper than paying real guards! - until people realized the flaws. Like the part where they'll just patrol forever, and don't really respond to someone just watching as long as it isn't read as aggressive behaviour.

It looks like you found a set that hadn't been decommissioned yet! The good news is, it's usually pretty easy to sneak past them if you want to avoid a fight.

why is this office building full of unlabelled teleport tiles?

 

It's difficult to find someone sturdy enough to play with an ice giant, no matter how friendly. The lonely giant living up here isn't good enough with machines to make a snowball fight or snow tennis machine that throws a curveball every so often, but they are good enough to build a very predictable one, and they leave it switched on sometimes when they're away. If you run into them if you move toward the source of the snowballs, they've probably been fixing the machine again! Frost gums up the cogs pretty regularly, they're still figuring out insulation.

Back in the day your SuperVisor™ glasses would let you know where the ones you needed went; no physical labels means that you don't know where ones you don't need or have the seniority to use go, which the company liked. 'Winners see things differently', and all that. Thank god they don't make those any more. There might be a spare visor or so in the boss' office...

Why are there glowing mites here that gather in increasingly large, inconveniently visible clouds around things using magic?

 

Sad story, really. The short version is a magic mite infestation got out of hand. They eat magic, you see, and by the time we figured that out we'd already thrown three rounds of magical bug bombs at them.

The long version involves an unscrupulous extermination business, a bit of backroom dealing, and a small heist, but that's a story for another day.

Why are all the sapient talking animals living in the one same village, and why are there no humans here?

 

racism

Why will this merchant buy literally anything you bring them, however useless or obscure?

 

Looks like you wound up at the Tem Shop. I’m really sorry, I think you’ve made a wrong turn. Then again, you can probably get some extra dough if you sell them your useless shit, so maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right?

What is this ghoulish man in robes doing at the entrance to this overpass, and why is every car that tries to enter actually turning back when he tells them to?

 

that's the Grim Reaper! the divine bureaucracy got caught up in infighting again and refused to raise the death ceiling, so he's been looking for corners to cut. in this case, he's informing people that the overpass is fatally flawed and will collapse if they try to go over it. his presence cannot be mistaken for anything but itself, and so far people have been very relieved to escape.

How do I go hiking for days in the wilderness and still maintain exactly the same roguish stubble throughout?

 

That... that would be dirt. Looks like a little bit of blood, too. Come inside and wash your face, sweetie.

Why is the castle sitting on top of a labyrinth of secret tunnels?

 

Please don’t tell me I killed this thread again!

 

i have an answer but not a question to continue so i've been sitting here with my answer trying to think of the next question

 

People have been really racist towards mole people since the dark elves overthrew the throne, you see. Can you fault them for hiding?

Why is this diary my daughter got suddenly responding to all her entries? (advice needed, she showed us and she’s really freaked out)