WTF Brain Autocorrect? - the majestic sea pancake and other substitutions

I...how

 

Makes sense.

 

Working backwards, I assume my logic was something like "writer guy" -> "character's name starts with gan-" -> "ah yes, famous author Ganondorf"

But, you know.

 

I vividly remember reading Eragon when I was fourteen (most acceptable time to read it - I liked it at the time) and happily reading a full page on before realising I had to go back and reread to find that the dwarf was polishing his war axe and not his ear wax.

 

My brain immediately went to shrek and not only is he not a dwarf im pretty sure "polishing his ear wax into a finely tuned candle" is not a thing either.

 

I saw a guy on tv who looked like a short Geraldo Rivera and was trying to point him out to my mom. Neither of us could remember Rivera's name, I kept trying to say Abe Vigoda.
Then we were trying to recall that special he did about going into Al Capone's vault... But neither of us could remember Capone's name!
My brain was trying to call him Abe Vigoda too.

Famed reporter Abe Vigoda investigating the vault of legendary mobster Abe Vigoda.

 

trying to explain how my coworkers leave out leftovers for the raccoons: "you know. the things. trash pandas. mini. um, um, there's babies." (so cute! but who feeds the wildlife, seriously?!)

 

My grandma used to leave food out for wild pigs.

 

@Socket just said "I need to go make a drink because my mouth feels like a sand land" and now I will never use the word desert again.

 

Tried to say kitschy when referring to my plans to decorate the guest bathroom and kinky came out. Once i corrected myself I used ghost room instead of guest room so now its the kinky ghost room

 

i was trying to find everything useful in a terrible ori and the blind forest tournament seed and when talking about it, i accidentally called the 'wind restored' event glide
which i had

that was a hell seed

 

@inchwyrm forgot what her ovaries were called, and so resorted to cursing her ‘egg dispensers’.

 

When presented with some rather technical writing requiring more focus than I currently have to parse: "I'll make some tea about it later"

 

Ok but that sounds like a real saying. I'll make some tea about it later is a phrase I'll probably use in real life conversation. That is so neat

 

I don’t know why “my brain is kinda fried, I should read Computer Systems: A Programmer’s Perspective” seemed like a reasonable idea, but wow is that a good expression. Because ehhh I’ll make some tea about it later.

 

That's up there with my "I have a nasty headache, I'm going to read some HP Lovecraft."

 

I went to a larping event this weekend, and as part of being an offensive caster you have to name the person you're doing a spell at, some descriptor (usually something they're wearing or doing) that identifies them and lets them know they're your target. Here are some of the ones I used, because i have a tendency to say the first thing that comes to mind, instead of the most sensible thing.

Little bunny foo-foo (guy wearing rabbit ears)
tits out, camelback (shirtless guy with a camelback)
archer up top (an archer on a tower)
THOU WHO HAST GIVEN ME SO MUCH FUCKING SHIT FOR THE LAST TEN MINUTES (a guy who was targeting me to get me to stop offense casting his line apart)

 

I couldnt remember what an ultrasound was called and just googled Pregnant Look At Baby Machine

 

Genuinely forgot how to say I wanted to wash the dishes and told Li I was going to do 'ceramics laundry'

 

While trying to tell Wyrm about a dream I just lost the word for “awnings”, and told her my frisbee kept landing on the “you know, those…gingham outcroppings? That shops have?”

Ah yes, those most colourful of natural formations.