All Aboard the Floating Dumpster: Trash Ships Ahoy

actual footage of kylux crossing the delaware

tell me of your trash ships! yea even unto tavris, they shall be welcomed into our stinky embrace!

 

you have a thing for jade tears, don't you :D

 

how do you write smutfic for sextuplets??? i mean the name is suggestive but that is a lot of body parts to keep track of

 

what's gelphie? i do not know the ship.

 

ahhh gotcha. sounds like the best kind of trainwreck. :D

do y'all suppose harry/draco counts as a trash ship if draco remains the terrible person he was in the books? and also frankly harry is also terrible in a lot of these fics i've been reading, which is great.

 

(these will all be transformers, because hahaha perseveration, there is no escape) I just got a really unpleasant ask about how it's so good that I wrote Jazz/Prowl, because it's literally the only good ship for Prowl, and I ragefully unpacked it in the transformers thread, but like... Prowl is awful and I love him and I have so so so many ships for him, which I love because they're all fucked up. I ship him with... Chromedome, Rewind, Optimus Prime, Tarantulas, Kup, the Constructicons, Arcee, and Spike, at a bare minimum (all of which are their own flavor of not-good), plus there are probably more I could get behind.

I ship Overlord with Fortress Maximus, Megatron, and Trepan, which are all awful, because Overlord is awful. Trepan and Chromedome is one of my favorite ships, with massive amounts of literal mind-rewriting emotional manipulation. Megatron/Starscream is a major guilty pleasure, especially if you leave the ridiculous power imbalance and abuse dynamics intact. I love Megatron/Optimus Prime too, since it's like they keep trying to fit together, and it's like trying to force two puzzle pieces that don't fit, and they're hurting themselves worse and worse with every attempt. Also Getaway/Tailgate. Oh, also Springer/Impactor, even though one of them shot the other one through the gut while he was pleading with him not to, and then one of them testified (over something else) to condemn the other to years in a miserable, awful prison. Such a delicious mess. I'm positive I'm forgetting more problematic ships that I love, but that's plenty for now.

And I don't know if this counts strictly here, but okay, so. Grimlock. He's been some sort of tortured/traumatized/brain damaged, in a major way. He went from being an intelligent and dangerous military leader to being... well, pretty much even worse off than eighties cartoon Grimlock. He has a vocabulary that mostly consists of 'me Grimlock' and he's lost bowel control, in a robot-y way. After years of trying to help him get better, he can kind of mostly write the letter 'G.' He got taken in by this crew of wayward Decepticons, with their reasoning being like 'well if we run into Decepticons, look, we captured this dangerous Autobot! and if we run into Autobots, look, we saved your friend!' And also at one point they try to literally sell him. Buuuuuut I kind of really ship it a lot (either Grimlock/Misfire, or just Grimlock/everyone) and I'm positive that if I say anything about it on tumblr dot com, someone is going to jump down my throat in a major way.

 

that is one of the reasons i made a trash ship thread here on the kintsugi dot net, because kids getting high sniffing social justice from a paper bag should not be permitted to ruin your shipping fun. i gather transformers is full of truly wonderful trash ships, and i applaud your multi-shipping stamina!

 

oh my god, that is the most fraught incest ship since post-dave's-self-awareness dave/bro. *standing ovation*

 

AR/dirk or hal/dirk (same thing or not? you decide!) is the most power-imbalanced ship in the history of ever, omg. it's got the "i created you and you depend on me for your existence" badness of parent/child incest along with the various problems that come along with hal being not human, being disembodied or in a robot body (which dirk ALSO built), and having been imprinted from a 13-year-old's mind. but then you have the thing where hal could very easily turn the tables and have absurd amounts of power over dirk, and -- ahhhhhh it just makes my little garbage heart sing!