shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

@THE GREAT PAPYRUS Hey, hey, Pap!

Look!

 

OH MY GOD?!?

WHY WOULD YOU LINK ME THAT???

THAT IS THE WORST THREAD ON THIS SITE.

HOW MANY OF THOSE ACCOUNTS ARE SECRETLY MY BROTHER?

 

To the first question, one word: Spades. <3<

*laughs* To the second, I honestly dunno. Is Sans fond of socks?

 

UGH. I NEED TO FIGURE OUT THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU. <3<

AND TO ASK SOMEONE WHY THE SPADES EMOTE LOOKS LIKE A FISH.

WHAT DO FISH HAVE TO DO WITH ANNOYING PEOPLE?

SANS DOES LIKE SOCKS.

HE COLLECTS THEM!

IT'S SAD, HONESTLY.

 

*laughs* You've been pretty successful so far, actually. <3<

I think it's supposed to look like a sideways spade, actually... *frowns* Like on playing cards. And I guess that means Dogs are the only Annoying animals in your dimension. No Annoying Fish or Annoying Cats or Annoying Elephants...

Not what I meant, Pap. *laughs* Socks, short for sockpuppets. Fake Internet accounts.

 

@sans. We have GOT to find you more interesting hobbies.

 

Come on, though, that's gotta be better than him getting drunk off his bony ass in some dead end bar. I mean, Pap is the best spades and I hate-love him, but there's a limited number of times I'm willing to run off after Sans, you know...

 

no man, just forget it.
((I'm dying laughing, that is extremely funny. I needed that, and i thought sans made the jokes))

 

Take him clothes shopping. or go fishing

 

I'm not arguing. I know my shitty decisions are shitty decisions. I just keep making them is the problem.

I was just thinking something less sad than sock collecting. I wonder if this world has places like Caravaia, where the tide sometimes brings in raw gemstones. There's an inlet where you can pick up garnets the size of a child's fist.

 

I heard that Pearl and Amethyst know a Garnet the size of a human. I wonder if I could pick her up, if you know what I mean... *wink*

 

I'm caught between being unimpressed, not at all surprised, and intrigued. Depths damn you, Djinn and Tonic.

 

YOU SHOULD TRY IT!

ACTUALLY, YOU AND UNDYNE COULD HAVE A PICK UP CONTEST.

WHOEVER PICKS UP THE MOST HOT GIRLS WINS.

(AUDIBLE WINK)

(<3<)

 

IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I'LL BE HERE.

IN THIS FORMLESS ABYSS OF FRIENDSHIP.

((Sans makes most of them, but Papyrus does sometimes too. Especially when he's been hanging out with Sans too long.))

 

I've got a nickname from you now. Nice. *grins* I like that.

*smirks* Sounds like fun. And maybe once I win that, everybody'll stop doubting how smooth I am. I'll get my mojo back.

(<3<)

 

I wonder if you would if you knew the story behind it. It's from a story I learned off one of Zedra's crew.

 

So, what's the story, then? It can't be that bad.

 

Give me a hypothetical nickname for someone and I'll give you a terrible, disturbing backstory. Let's go.

 

First, we have djinn in our world; they're Spirits with mostly Silver souls. Silver is the color of luck, fate, chance, and surprise, which is already a reason to be wary of them. They tend to also have strong shades of Violet, which has a tendency toward deception, or Crimson, which is the color of anger, but controlled anger rather than mindless rage. They live wild if they're 'born' naturally, but humans can become djinni through a very powerful curse and they're usually bound to objects. Some wild Djinn are bound to places because they got too close to a village but they can't be killed, trying to run them off just makes them mad as fuck, and binding them to an object is asking for trouble.

So there's a village in the mountains, and a logger named Jilobe- the region's equivalent to "Bob" so I'll call him that instead- that's not all that bright. Taken a few too many blows to the head, yeah? So he and the other loggers have set up camp, it's getting close to dark so they've been sitting around drinking, settling down before they head to bed because work tomorrow. Bob needs to take a piss so he leaves camp, and once the light of the fire is out of sight he realizes he took the empty tonic bottle with him. He could go back and ditch it, but he knows he's not that bright and the other guys'll laugh at him so he decides fuck it and keeps it.

When he's done he starts heading back, except he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and drunk besides, and ends up getting lost. He follows a light but instead of camp he finds a crag where a djinn's been bound. The djinn has been there for a few centuries without seeing anyone, he's bored as fuck and it's obvious this guy hasn't got a scrap of magic so it's not like he can unbind him. So he does the wish routine: Bob gets two.
His first is to be back at camp, because he's not the most imaginative fellow, and the djinn tells him that's a goddamn stupid wish and he's elected to ignore it. Bob takes offence, and decides to wish that he's a djinn, presumably so he can show this one how it's done.

The djinn thinks this one is interesting enough to grant, pulls Bob's soul out and fills it full of Silver, and binds it to the tonic bottle, which lands outside the crag and slides down the mountain to be found by travelers.

Traditionally the story is told as a "told to a friend by one of their friends who found the bottle" who, upon meeting Bob the Djinn, asked why the hell a spirit has one of the most basic and mundane names and was told the story. The friend answers with "that was a goddamn stupid wish" and, instead of the expected angry spirit Bob just sighs and says -she adopts a perfect hillbilly drawl- "Well I know that now."

Because Bob becoming a Djinn is only at the end, people asking if you've heard the story ask if you've heard about the "Djinn in the tonic bottle," or, "Djinn and Tonic."

 

@The Spirit-Touched *laughs* I think I like that djinn. The original one. There have been many times I've wished I'd been able to say, "that's a goddamn stupid wish and I've elected to ignore it." But, well, genies can't do that in my world, so...

But... I'm guessing you're comparing me to Bob, so... yeah, maybe the comparison is as bad as you said it was. Considering that he's the idiot in this story and all.