The Grouch's Trash Pile [Baldur's Gate 3]

I finally got some fucking sleep -- cats were less shenanigan-y this morning, and while they did wake me they didn't pester me after I got up, fed them, and opened a curtain a little for them. I'll take it, although I'm concerned this is a one-off. Sleep deprivation is very bad when you have bipolar disorder, and I could tell my mental state was deteriorating sharply.

 

After playing around with Crime Tools for a little while to try glams etc on this guy, I've decided that I'm not going to use him for a new character -- he's based on my fave DA:I OC but I can't quite get the aesthetic I'd want on him, and would otherwise dress him like a slightly more masc and palette shifted Iolis, and... nah. He would have been perfect for if I didn't already play an elezen, but since I do, I'm not interested in retreading that ground.

On the other hand, I've got Peaches:



First Hrothgar I've made who isn't just accidentally a version of one of my other characters who I went, "Yes, this is my style!" I Crime Tools'd into him and after emoting and trying on some glams, I have concluded that he is adorable and dressing him would be new and interesting. So if I really feel the urge to make a new character, it's going to be him.

 

Today's poor sleep brought to me by a just ridiculous amoung of muscle tension in my neck and shoulders causing me screaming headaches. Why this???? ; ;

 

Well, I couldn't decide on an alt to move so I made Peaches after all. I even had a backstory pop into my head:

Peaches Azora was an acrobat in a troupe that ended up staying in Ul'dah for quite a while. Even though he's large, he's small for a hrothgar and very agile, so he navigated the rafters with ease to hang curtains, adjust lights, and so on. Eventually however, his troupe disbanded for one reason or another, and unwilling to go back to Garlean-occupied Bozja, he opted to stay in Ul'dah and take up adventuring as an excuse to travel and see more of Eorzea. Pugilism was a natural choice for his career shift.

Obviously 'Peaches' is not the name he was born with, but a nickname given to him by his troupe leader (she couldn't help herself; he's fuzzy and peach-colored!) that ended up sticking. It's a little cutesy for a big guy, but it makes people feel a little more at ease with his size (which may be small for a hrothgar but still looms over hyurs, miqos, and lalas) and bestial appearance. He's kept it because it's a reminder of his years with the troupe, and besides, at this point he answers to it more readily than he does his given name.

 

... hm! I shouldn't have looked at Scrivener's statistics for how much I wrote on my current novel last month.

*dries up and blows away*

 

Winter is kicking my ass and I feel like SHIT. "Someone stole my blood and replaced it with water" shit. It's this pervasive sense of malaise that makes it hard to get out of bed, not because I'm sleepy, but because I can't fucking wake UP. It's a dull full body feeling that isn't quite an ache but is definitely the essence of a used, crumpled tissue in sensory form.

Sometimes I feel like this and can get it to go away by going for a walk -- not this time! I feel just as bad as I did before I left.

 

So it isn't just SAD that's made me feel like shit, I'm probably sick with... something??? 'Blood vessels feel like they're full of garbage juice' is not a symptom that tells anyone much. After a few days of thinking I'd best describe it as having that sick, weak feeling, not in my muscles, but deeper somehow.

I do seem to be on the mend, my sleep the past couple of nights has been more normal and not nearly comatose. I was however overly optimistic about how well I was feeling and the walk to the clinic for my injection and then around the grocery store and back home wore me the FUCK out. The nurse told me to take it easy, so I'd probably better stay at home for a couple more days. J is just going to have to be Grocery Hero this time around.

 

Peaches likes this little weirdo. (He's finally most of the way through ARR...!)

 

IT IS HIGHLY UNFAIR THAT THE WEATHER IS CLEAR AND SUNNY WHEN I NEED TO STAY AT HOME AND REST. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY.

 

He sit.

 

I'm just going to say it here so I don't complain about it in public: I am THOROUGLY sick of Goroncharov and how much it shows up even with the tag blocked.

*grumble grump mutter stomp*

 

Today required stress baking, so I made these, although slightly altered -- baking powder instead of fucking around with cream of tartar and baking soda, all butter, and then alter as needed (like only making half a recipe) otherwise. This time I used brown sugar, orange zest, and various spices like cardamom, nutmeg, and allspice. Good shit, I ate something like 8 of them.

 

lksjfdsjfjd of course there's a sale on Tales of Adventure a week after I start a new alt. SIGH!! I don't knoooow maybe I'll get him a level skip for dancer or something to ease the grind...

Edit: Oh wait it's been two weeks?? Well, still.

 

My eyelid is doing the thing again (all infected with a worrying pale patch in the middle of it), but I was not avoidant for once and called the health center this morning and have an appointment for later this afternoon.

The fucking thing has been bothering me on and off since the last time this happened and I really should have gotten it checked sooner. =_=

 

32€ for antibiotics and cortizone cream. T_T

 

The antibiotics I got are heavy duty, and that means:

Eyedrops 8x/day for 2 days and 4x/day for 3 days
Eye cream every night for 7 days
Hot compress 3x/day until the awful fucking lump finally drains, I guess

And the eyedrops require I wash my hands, uncork the bottle, start my timer for 1 min 15 sec, take no more than 15 sec getting a drop into my eye, hold my head back for one minute, repeat all that, cork bottle, wash hands, set timer for 1 hour 55 minutes (since this always takes about five minutes total).

Absolute pain in the ass, and it makes it hard as hell to concentrate on anything because suddenly the two hours are up and it's time to put more eyedrops in!!!

 

How about something happier in here for once...

A while back I reblogged a post about an Etsy seller that makes cool pins. Instead of just wistfully sighing at them, I checked the shop, saw that the seller is in Italy, remembered I had some leftover gift card money, and bought myself a couple to decorate my Cool Denim Jacket with. I got this rose pin and this ink cap pin; they came a few days ago, very nicely packed, and they look SO good in person. Really high quality and super professional presentation, and the seller included an ink cap sticker.

Now I'm pining over these... I don't wear nice button up shirts often enough to justify getting them, but oh, they're so cool. I love the aesthetic of collar pins with little chains between them.

 

i'm done with the antibiotics... and my eyelid looks and feels worse!! I'm distressed!

Edit: I think the problem is that it really needs to, er, drain, but there's no exit to drain through. The hot compress is supposed to help with that... eventually...

 

It hurts and looks awful and I am not being brave about it at all :(

 

Hope you have a good day today, get to eat tasty food, and are generally able to be warm and happy. Give your little feline terrors some pettin's from me pls :3